Overseas Chinese Democracy Coalition News and Article Release Issue: A17-G8

中国民主运动海外联席会议新闻与文章发布号:A17-G8

 

Release Date: June 4, 2003

发布日:200364

 

Topic: Devoted to Beijing - Not Just for Memorial of June 4, 1989

标题:对北京的奉献 -- 不仅仅是纪念 (六。四祭文一篇)

 

Original Language Version: English

(English at beginning, Chinese version at the end)

Please visit our website if you have problem to read Chinese in this issue

此号以英文为准(英文在前,中文在后)

 

The Wei Jingsheng Foundation and the Overseas Chinese Democracy Coalition are dedicated to the promotion of human rights and democratization in China. We appreciate your assistance and help in any means.

 

We pledge solidarity to all who struggle for human rights and democratic

governance on this planet.

 

You are welcome to use or distribute this release. However, please credit with

this foundation and its website at: www.weijingsheng.org

 

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Writer's note:

 

I am presenting my article written in 1989 about June 4, 1989 here

for our newer readers. Although I think it could be better worded,

the English is the original publicized version which was translated

from the very original Chinese version.

 

It was almost 14 years ago that I wrote the original article in

Chinese about the death of my college classmate, HAO ZhiJing.

Shortly after, this article was translated into English and

published in several news media and on the Internet. I received

more than hundred readers' responses from this article and

one that followed titled "letter to my 784 classmates" (which

described the detail circumstance about ZhiJing's death) and a

poem about him. Some of the readers have since become my best

friends and very supportive of my continued work. Honestly, these

friends have been one of the strongest supports and ZhiJing's death

has been one of the biggest motivations for me to continue my human

rights and democracy work for China, even though the environment

is so harsh and one often has to wonder if all the effort and

sacrifice worth is it.

 

Nevertheless, this simple article took a great chunk out of me

which made me never write any more articles in Chinese since then

until my father passed away two and half years ago. Because I refused to do

what the Chinese government wanted me to do, I was not allowed to

meet with him on his deathbed, nor to attend his funeral. Finally,

the actions of the repressive Chinese government again encouraged me

to write more Chinese. The reason for me to shy away from my Chinese

writing was partially due to my Chinese being so deteriorated

(without much improvement on my English!) that I was ashamed, and

partially because my Chinese writings were always associated with

too many tears. (Honestly, it was a tough call for me to finish

the duty as the president of IFCSS. I was fortunate enough to have

several friends to draft/translate various statements and speeches

for me in Chinese - that surely is a bonus to be the head of an

organization and all you need to do is to boss around :)!)

 

Because of the overwhelming responses to the well published English

version of these articles, I nearly forgot that I even had a

Chinese version to start with until I was arrested by the Chinese

Secret Police for days. It was during the interrogation session

that the article was brought forth as part of the evidence

against myself. (Even now, I am impressed with the interrogators'

skill at reciting my sentences that I had already forgotten and

reminding me of the article I had lost.) Although I plead not-guilty

to them, I was really impressed by myself for writing such a moving

article in Chinese and so tried to find it when I returned home.

Unfortunately, I still have not able to locate the very original

Chinese version and the Chinese Secret Police were not very cooperative

about giving me a copy either.

 

The Chinese version published in this newsletter is a translated

version of the English translation only. If any of you by chance

have a copy of my Chinese original, please let me know. Otherwise,

we will have to wait and work for the fall of the Chinese Communists

to read it in the Secret Police files.

 

For the picture of my classmate HAO ZhiJing, please visit:

http://www.ustc784.net/pic/784f1982.htm (first row, most left one)

 

For information about HUANG Ciping, please visit:

http://www.weijingsheng.org/lxhy/huang.html and

http://www.ustc784.net/pic/HCP/

 

Thank you for remembering June 4, 1989!

 

-- Ciping Huang

 

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Devoted to Beijing -- Not Just for Memorial

 

-- Ciping Huang, July 8, 1989

 

After missing for 31 days, his body was found in a hospital in Beijing,

China. No one knows when, where and how he died. He devoted himself to the

pro-democracy movement in China.

 

His name is ZhiJing. It means "Devoted to Beijing".

 

There were a million people in TianAnMen Square struggling. I am one of many

who supported them. When my hot blood, excited by the thought of a free China,

flushed on my face, when my heart beat matched with the others to strike the

drum condemning the repressive government, I forgot myself as an individual. I

wanted to know about my friends who were just as enthusiastic as I was, but I

wasn't able to think of each individual separately. Then, I mourned thousands

of victims of the massacre, but I wasn't expecting to mourn my dear friend as

an individual. But now, I'm here to mourn my friend who died before us at the

age of 30, as a symbol for us.

 

His name is ZhiJing. It means "Devoted to Beijing".

 

He was my classmate in college. He was the head of our class. He was kind. He

was handsome. He was bright. He was active. We were all proud of being the

students in physics, the most competitive field at the time we entered the

college. We were proud of being the students in one of the top universities in

mainland China -- the University of Science and Technology of China. We took

almost the same classes together for four years. We went to the same classrooms,

the same cafeteria, the same library... When we were in college, we hoped that

we could find good jobs in Beijing -- the capital of the country, the center of

politics, culture, science and technology. At that time, he and I thought

that we would devote ourselves to physics in Beijing.

 

His name is ZhiJing. It means "Devoted to Beijing".

 

We were more or less disappointed after we got out of college and got our

jobs in Beijing. The problems of the society bothered us. We had a seminar on

research progress every few weeks. About 20 classmates would get together on a

weekend night. It took me one hour on the bus and one hour on a bike to get

there. We spent about one hour reviewing our work. Then we were supposed to have a discussion on the reviews. But it always ended up with our worries and

disputes about the future of our country. We were depressed. We discussed the

management of the government, the policies of the Chinese Communist Party, the

culture, the civilization. We tried to find the real reasons behind these problems. No one even dared to complain too much about the government, never thinking of demanding it to change. We never wanted to overthrow the CCP. But we were worried about our nation. We wanted to get involved and devote ourselves to a better China and a better Beijing. The last time I saw him was five years ago in such a seminar during the summer time.

 

His name is ZhiJing. It means "Devoted to Beijing".

 

Now, the memory is alive, his smile is alive, even his voice is still

echoing... But he is dead. He is really dead now. But his dreams are still alive,

most of his friends are still alive, the thoughts for freedom and democracy are

still alive...This is the belief for me to carry on all these days and stop my

tears at this moment. Rest peacefully, my friend. I cannot use my tears to

open your blood sealed eyes. I cannot call you anxiously to awake you from this

endless dreaming. I cannot even hold your now cold hands to say good-bye to

you...But there are something I still can. I can remember you. I can be the

true daughter of your now childless parents. Surely I can do my best to continue

what you devoted yourself to but were not able to see come to a victorious

conclusion.

 

Rest peacefully, my friend. This is my memorial for you. This is not just a

memorial... I will remember you. We will remember you.

 

Your name is ZhiJing. It means "Devoted to Beijing".

 

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For website issues and suggestions, you may contact our professional staff and web master at: webmaster@Weijingsheng.org

 

To find out more about us, please also visit our other website at:

www.ChinaLaborUnion.org

for news and information for Overseas Chinese Democracy Coalition and human

rights and democracy movement as whole, especially our Chinese Labor Union

Base.

 

You may contact Ciping Huang at: HCP@Weijingsheng.org or

1-516-384-1958 for emergency or

Wei Jingsheng Foundation office in Washington DC at: 1-202-974-8395 (Wei WU)

Wei Jingsheng Foundation's address is: 888 16th Street, NW, Suite 400

Washington, DC 20006, USA

 

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You are receiving this message because you had previous shown your interest in

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中文版

 

Overseas Chinese Democracy Coalition News and Article Release Issue: A17-G8

中国民主运动海外联席会议新闻与文章发布号:A17-G8

 

Release Date: June 4, 2003

发布日:200364

 

Topic: Devoted to Beijing - Not Just for Memorial of June 4, 1989

标题:对北京的奉献 -- 不仅仅是纪念 (六。四祭文一篇)

 

Original Language Version: English

(English at beginning, Chinese version at the end)

Please visit our website if you have problem to read Chinese in this issue

此号以英文为准(英文在前,中文在后)

 

魏京生基金会及中国民主运动海外联席会议以推动中国的人权与民主为己任。

我们欢迎任何形式的帮助与贡献。我们愿与世界上为人权与民主而奋斗的人们一起努力。

 

我们希望您能够帮助我们散发我们的资料。但请标明出处与我们的网址:

www.weijingsheng.org

 

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作者的话:

 

在此,我谨献上我于一九八九年的六。四祭文一篇。原文为中文。尽管现在我认为此文之英文可以译得更好,此篇的英文依旧是我十四年前发表的原文。

 

十四年前的七月,我得知了我大学班长郝致京64被屠杀的死讯,悲痛不已。我对他的祭文的英文版被发表在众多的报纸与新闻媒体,尤其是电子网络上。以下的这篇文章及其后有关的一篇(致784同学们:有关郝致京死亡之细节)和一首纪念他的诗歌被广为流传。两个月中,我便受到上百封读者来信,并因此与其中的几位结成知交-他们至今依然在支持着我。

 

然而,正是这篇文章使我如此伤心,随着我中文的退化,以至于我从此后几年再也未以中文写过文章。直到三年前与我父亲的生离死别才使我写下了另一篇原文是中文的文章。仅仅是因为我拒绝了中共的要求,他们便以割断我们的亲情与孝心为威胁,以致于我未能在慈父的生前与死后孝敬他老人家。我不愿再写中文,固然是因为我的中文太差,表达不好,但这每篇文章都让我流了让我受不了的太多的眼泪自然也是一个原因。

 

我的英文文章受到如此之关注,以至于当我在1998年被国安部扣留时,我已忽略了这篇文章有中文原文之实。因此,当国安部审讯人员向我背诵有关段落时,我真是又惊又喜,惊的是国安部人员如此敬业-以至于我无法否定,喜的是他们帮我找回了我丢失的原文-连我自己都为我当年的真诚所感动。遗憾的是,回家以后,翻箱倒柜也未能找到我当年的中文原文,而国安部的工作人员也未能为我提供方便,给我一份拷贝。

 

所以在此我只能将我英文翻译版的文章再译回到中文。如果哪位有我的中文原稿,敬请告知,不胜感谢。否则,我们就只好更加倍地努力,以求到国安部的秘密档案里去寻找了。

 

-- 黄慈萍

 

请访问http://www.ustc784.net/pic/784f1982.htm

这张中国科大一九七八级近代物理系(784)毕业照里的第一排最左边是郝致京

 

有关黄慈萍的简历可在以下连接中找到:

http://www.weijingsheng.org/lxhy/huang.html and

http://www.ustc784.net/pic/HCP/

 

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致京 -- 对北京的奉献 -- 不仅仅是纪念

 

黄慈萍 (作于19897)

 

198968日,在他失踪了31天以后,人们在北京一所医院里找到了他的尸体。没有人知道他死于何时何地。他是为中国民主运动献出了生命。他的名字叫致京,意为奉献给北京。当年,成千上万的人们在天安门广场奋斗,我则是许多支持者之一。当我热血沸腾,为中国的自由而激动的时候,当我的心随着那些抗击政府的压制的鼓点跳动的时候,我已经不是作为单独的个体。因此,当我为六四事件的殉难者们志哀的时候,我不是向作为单独个人的亲近朋友志哀。

 

但是现在,我要纪念他,这个名叫致京意为奉献给北京的小伙子,这个在风华正茂的30岁之前就离开了我们的青年。他是我的大学同学,我们的班长。他善良聪颖而且英俊潇洒。那时,我们都为自己成为竞争力最强、群英会聚的物理系学生而自豪,我们也为终于踏进全国知名学府中国科学技术大学而荣耀。大学期间,我和致京几乎同时研修了所有四年的课程。我们一同上教室,一同去餐厅,一同进图书馆。在校期间,我们都向往毕业以后到北京工作。北京是中国的文化政治中心,我们愿意将自己的青春奉献给北京,就象他的名字奉献给北京。

 

但是后来分配到北京工作以后,我们多少有些失望。许多社会问题困扰着我们。当时每隔几个星期,大约20多名同学就要在周末聚集在一起,讨论交流各自的研究进展。对我来说,去一次这样的聚会来回要乘一个小时的汽车,外加一个小时的自行车。这样的聚会,通常是在对祖国未来担忧的沉重气氛下结束的,人们带着焦虑和压抑离去。在这样的聚会上,我们讨论政府管理体制,共产党的政策,民族文化,还有文明的进程。我们试图找到各种症结背后的根源,几乎没有人想到要严厉抨击政府,没有想到要求突变,更没有推翻共产党的意念。占据这些青年人的头脑的,仅仅是对国家的忧虑,仅仅是如何找到途径贡献自己的聪敏才智,把北京、把中国建设得更美好。最后一次我见到致京,就是五年前一个夏天的这样的聚会上。

 

他的名字叫致京,奉献给北京。我对他记忆犹新,他的微笑犹在,他的声音犹荡。但是他却死了。他虽然死了,可是他的梦还活着。他的大部分朋友还活着,成千上万渴望民主自由的头脑还活着.......。在这个时刻,我应该停止哭泣,肩负起我们共同的信仰。

 

安息吧,我的朋友。我无法用我沉痛的泪水洗刷封住你双眼的血迹,我无法用我焦急的呼喊将你从无边的梦境中唤醒,我甚至不能够握着你冰冷的双手,对你轻轻说声再见。但是,我还是可以做一些事情:我可以永远地怀念你,我可以成为你膝下无子的父母的亲生儿女,我还可以尽我的力量,去完成你致力于、但是没有看到胜利前景的事业。

 

安息吧,我的朋友。这是我对你的纪念。不仅仅是一个纪念。我会一直怀念你,我们将永远铭记你。你的名字叫致京,奉献给北京。

(此为英文翻译稿之翻译稿。2003.5.

 

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