Overseas Chinese Democracy Coalition News and Article Release Issue Number: A204-O49
中国民主运动海外联席会议新闻与文章发布号：A204-O49
Release Date: May 13, 2006
发布日：2006年5月13日
Topic: Talking to the Chinese Women About "Women Returning Home" From a Human Rights Point of View -- Ciping Huang (original article published at "Beijing Spring" Magazine's Issue 2006/5)
标题：从人权意识谈“妇女回归家庭”-- 黄慈萍 （文章发表于《北京之春》2006年5月号）
Original Language Version: Chinese (Chinese version at the end)
此号以中文为准（英文在前，中文在后）
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Note by the editor: "Beijing Spring" is the best-known Chinese magazine advocating democracy and human rights. However, it has long been criticized by the author for not publish articles about women's rights. But this time, it did.
Talking to the Chinese Women About "Women Returning Home" From a Human Rights Point of View
-- Ciping Huang
Preface
Not long ago, I was invited by "Voice of America" to participate in a TV program debate with a professor on the subject "Should Women Return Home". It was quite well received. Now, I am going to publish my article from "Beijing Spring", a magazine for which the overwhelming majority of writers and readers are male. It indeed makes me "proud".
Because I was born a woman in China, fate had me face numerous instances of unfairness and disrespect to women from the Chinese society. This unfairness was well displayed right after I graduated from college. At that time I thought that, with excellent grades and performance, I could get a better job in competition with male candidates. However, the boss who knew my resume well delivered the deathblow: "But you are a female".
In the 1980's, I got a job in an American company, and hoped that the situation would be different. However, a female colleague immediately advised: "If you want to achieve more than men, you must put in 10 times more effort." Her words served well as an alarm to work hard. Eventually, I was able to grow step by step, until I become a senior optical engineering consultant. I probably ended up putting in 12 times the effort.
Toward the end of 1980's, I started to devote more time and energy in the field of human rights and democracy. This work often made me forget my "weakness for being a women", yet I was often reminded in a less desirable way. Over the years, I have been the only female President of IFCSS (Independent Federation of Chinese Students and Scholars), the President of the Global Chinese Student Union, and until this day the Executive Director of the Wei Jingsheng Foundation and the Secretary-General of the Overseas Chinese Democracy Coalition. Regardless of the titles, however, of all the storms, none could compete with the implication of "women who lack talent and ability are the ones with best morals" and the attitude of "it is a grave mistake to let a woman take the lead". I have even been publicly questioned and personally attacked due to the reality that I am a woman. Not only do the attacks occur, rarely do people stand up for me when they are happening. It does make me wonder that if I were a man, what would it be like? It is not surprising to find we human rights defenders and democracy advocators to be under attack, but to the least, most men probably would not have to endure what I have to take as a woman.
Usually, people do not understand why I have different scores for people in our circle. That is because I have a different grading system than others do. To me, one's attitude to females counts about 50% -- after all, the world is about 50% women. Thus, many people get a failing grade on human rights. If one fails on the conscience of human rights, how can one earn the qualification to talk about human rights?
In the past two decades, I have visited many countries. I have also talked and given speeches on Chinese women's issues that received a lot of sympathy and support. As this world that is still dominated by men, this kind of support makes me thankful. Yet what I feel ashamed is that many of Chinese men seem to be weak on this issue. I am even not so sure that my opinions on women published in "Beijing Spring" will even receive a basic understanding from these "friends who love democracy and human rights". Frankly speaking, I expect not, and I am also worried.
However, women's rights are part of human rights. Regardless what happens, the equality between men and women is a social trend of progress that cannot be blocked, I expect, and I am full of confidence.
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Part 1: Should Mothers Work or Stay at home?
Recently, there has been a lot of discussion regarding whether mothers should work or stay home. Many people think that due to sexual differences, men and women have their own roles in the society. In particular, raising the children is primarily the duty of the woman.
On the issue of whether mothers with children should work or stay at home, I believe that is the individual's choice. A woman should be able to decide for herself, instead of being urged on or even forced upon by a society. I say this mainly for these reasons:
1. The allocation of work in the past when men worked and women stayed at home was because society was undeveloped, and technology was not advanced. In the early stages of mankind, men's physiques were suited to hunting, whereas women's physiques and skills suited housework and needlework; this allocation of work was fair and reasonable. Even in societies with limited development, male physical strength made men the best choice for labor. But now things are different. Heavy labor has mainly been replaced by machines and computers, and housework has, to a great extent, been replaced by semi-finished products and specialized processing machines. Therefore, outside of the irreplaceable duty of childbirth, the unique female role in raising children is weakening too. The issue of who should work at home for years to focus on raising children and managing the home is not particularly determined by gender. Work outside the home is the same; its skills rely less and less on gender.
2. Every household and the situation with every female is very different, and they can't be forced to follow a single pattern. For example, some women particularly enjoy and are skilled at taking care of children, and some men also have this love and talent. On the other hand, some women particularly like to work outside the home, and have little interest in home management. If the latter type of woman is forced to stay at home for ten years to assist her husband and educate her children, not only might she not perform household chores well, she also might feel psychologically unbalanced. Recently, a mother of four children in the award-winning drama "Desperate Housewives" eventually switched roles with her husband. She was more successful than her husband at work outside the home, while the husband became an excellent "stay-at-home dad".
3. Women have equal natural gifts and abilities as men in fields outside raising and educating children. In working outside the home, women can utilize their latent abilities, and strengthen women's confidence, self-esteem, and self-sufficiency. It will strengthen the democratization of the family and spur forward gender equality in society. This is a key point in dispelling discrimination toward women and protecting women's interests. Many reports have said that the ratio of women in American universities outstrips that of men, and the ratio of women to men with advanced degrees is even more disparate, especially in some fields. Similar reports have come out of China: girls' grades in middle school are generally better than boys'; there are more female graduate students than male graduate students, and so on. Nowadays, exceptionally talented women have appeared in all manner of professions, showing women's considerable potential and abilities. Allowing and encouraging women to choose for themselves whether or not to work outside the home will not only improve women's status, it will also benefit society.
On this issue, "the women's interest" as I understand it does not mean people advocating for them to work outside the home, but instead to give them the right to choose for themselves and to truly respect their many choices. I believe that they ought to have their own choice and be able to fully manifest the value and status of women, as well as obtain their deserved living space and social identity.
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Part 2: What a Full Time Mother Might Have Paid For
If women choose to stay at home as mothers, they will have to pay something, including the price of financial independence, as well as perhaps a lowering of self-consciousness. These prices sometimes are not necessarily consciously realized by the individuals.
For a long period of time, being a "housewife" was not seen as having specialized talents, and also had a considerably low status. At times the word "housewife" is used to signify ignorance, pettiness, or inferior quality. Haven't you heard people say, "This person doesn't do this right; just like a housewife"? If a woman in such a position doesn't have an income, not only may her husband fail to use normal standards to measure her contributions and sacrifices - as they see themselves as elite "providers," - but the woman herself may feel inferior, believing that she relies on others to live, and may involuntarily develop a submissive attitude. If women want to buy things for themselves or want to give financial assistance to their parents' home, they may have misgivings and worries about it without their own income. I heard many housewives express similar feelings: "Using others' money is truly difficult. It's not as free as using one's own money." So as soon as they have an opportunity, such women will actively strive to find short-term work. I also know that when some women often buy household goods, they quietly save one or two dollars for their own private hoards so as to satisfy their own tiny bit of financial sovereignty. This mentality is not one that a man or woman that makes an income every month needs consider.
Women who stay at home for long periods of time will become true dependents, both economically and emotionally. This will lower their status in the home, and possibly do great damage to the mutual respect that should exist in a marriage. As soon as breakdowns appear in the marriage, women will often be put in a difficult position both mentally and in their living conditions. Starting afresh in finding work is also difficult.
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Part 3: How might a Mother do Her Best to Foster a Healthy, Able, and Moral Next Generation"
Many people who think that women should stay home argue that mothers are the best to carry out the duties of raising and educating their children. This opinion had a realistic meaning before society reached to today's stage, when stay-at-home moms took care of their children and provided the family a stable and warm environment, which contributed to a stable society.
One sign of social progress is the distribution of work in society. The important meaning of this work distribution is specialization. As I understand it, specialization is letting people with knowledge and talents perform tasks that they are familiar with, understand, and excel in. Doesn't educating children need a lot of specialized knowledge? Why do we accept specialization in other industries but not in this key area? My understanding is that raising children itself is a science that touches upon the fields of psychology, anthropology, sociology, and medicine. Who has the most qualifications to raise and educate children? It requires people from different fields to educate, to contribute. Love alone is insufficient. If we can accept a society divided into many fields, why not in the area of children's education; although education cannot replace love from the parents. So I believe that kindergarten, grade school, short-term interest classes, and after-school activities are all especially important. The most important things that parents can give to their children are their love and patience, as well as influence from their own moral character that includes their respectful attitude toward work and their striving forward in any undertaking. The parents' role in these areas is very important. A mother's image and role is not only manifest in enduring hard work and criticism while performing household duties, maternal love is multi-faceted. However, if "fostering an able and moral next generation" were something a mother at home could be qualified to take on and could complete, wouldn't children's education be such an easy task?
Today's work distribution far exceeds the gender-based work distribution that occurred in primitive society. Kindergartens, pre-school classes, schools, summer camps, and other such things are all products of this work distribution. Although this specialized work distribution cannot replace a mothers' love, kindergartens provide broader recreational activities, as well as opportunities to socialize with other children. Isn't this activity more rich and colorful than having children alone, hanging around their mother and listening to one person tell stories? I don't know what kind of behavioral differences or bad trends such environments will produce. While they grow up, children need not only milk and bread or even the meticulous love and care of a mother, they also need to study, participate in activities, and come to understand the world. In the current one-child-policy China, the single child needs even more experience outside the house in order to learn normal ways of socializing and cooperating with others.
In my own experiences and observation of those people around me, I haven't seen an instance of a child of a mother at home being more outstanding than the child of a mother who works outside the home, nor have I seen reliable investigation data to convince me so. There is also no data that shows that children of working couples will definitely have more problems than children of mothers who stay at home. Of course, in raising children, working couples have their particular difficulties and challenges, just like mothers at home will have their own particular difficulties and shortcomings.
Also, as for the children that I've seen that have had accomplishments in school and that act relatively upright - the children that we say "have good prospects" - the majority were educated by both their father and mother. And in most cases, the mother had outstanding credentials, was well read, and had good sense, self-confidence and self-sufficiency. Oftentimes they were very successful women outside the home.
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Part 4: The Possibility for Chinese Women to Return Home
On the surface, the Chinese government says that they support the equality of men and women. "Women Hold Half of Sky" is a well-known slogan. Yet in reality women's status is really low.
China's bad situations are not limited to just a few. At the very least, America stipulates in its laws that men and women have equal rights, and give work opportunities, welfare, divorce compensation, and other benefits to look after women's rights. But in China it's much different.
First, there is gender discrimination when companies recruit new people. Employers are usually willing to recruit men. If the applicant is a young woman, the employer will worry that she will soon get married and have children, thus affecting her work. If she is a middle-aged woman, the employer will resent the fact that she has so many family burdens. If she is even older or is an elderly woman, she basically will be left as trash. This situation is even more obvious in the fields with fewer requirements for non-professional skills. China doesn't have rigid government rules for job searches, so everywhere you can see advertisements like this: "Recruiting for such-and-such job; required: a woman under 26 years old", and so on. It's even to the point that a newspaper will restrict new hires for editors to be younger than 35 years old. Women live longer than men, but they often have to retire earlier than men. Normally women have to retire at 45, whereas more specialized personnel retire at 50.
Second, in equal positions that require equal skills, women often receive less money than men, and they have fewer opportunities for promotion. In the last few years, their surviving environment has continually worsened, and the competition in the work market has become more and more fierce. Young women with higher education have a hard time finding an honorable occupation. In seeking a job, they often feel helpless and bitter. Some have no choice but to send a picture of their pretty face along with their resume to employers in hopes that their beauty will win them the position. Government ministries also do not value the character of intellectual women. In the physical examination forms used when recruiting government employees in Hunan Province, it requires of women: "Needs to be sexually developed normally, with symmetrical breasts that have no lumps."
Many factories in China recruit women from the countryside on a large scale; under the blood-and-sweat wage system they act as oxen and horses. They work for over ten hours a day, but receive scant rewards for their work. They lack the required labor protections and medical insurance, and often face sexual harassment.
In today's Chinese society, there have emerged concubines, escorts, prostitution, and other such phenomena, showing evidence of how low the status of women is in society. Personally, I believe that many of the nations in Scandinavian countries, such as Denmark and Norway, have done better than America in this area, although America is much better than China. I have a friend in Sweden who is currently taking leave as a father of a newborn. This is a regulation throughout the country, not something that differs depending on the company. This country is also quite good in terms of gender equality. For example, there are basically an equal number of men and women in their parliament, and female bosses outnumber male bosses. You could say that it is true "gender equality and socialism".
China has a long way to catch up. In America, at least women's equality is written in the laws that especially protect women in defined areas such as employment opportunities, social benefits, and divorce settlement. China's divorce policies don't give enough protections to women. The American divorce system, to a large extent, assists stay-at-home-moms. For instance, if the husband calls for divorce, he has to give the child sufficient child-support, as well as alimony to the mother, who temporarily cannot work. In some states it even stipulates that if the mother wants to go to school, the divorced husband has to pay for her education fees. Some states have similar "youth compensation" fees to pay for education fees. The reasoning is that by staying at home, women have lost the opportunity to get further education and to increase their skills. In China it's not at all like this. The situation women without skills are placed in after going through divorce is extremely tragic.
Should Chinese women return home? I am afraid that other than pretty women who will remain youthful forever, no woman can guarantee that as a "mother at home" she will have a surefire future. Especially, the "one-child policy" reduces a mother's contributions significantly, as she can only have one child. Even today, the divorce rate in China continues to rise. When someone completely loses her financial independence and ability to make a living how can she ensure her future if her husband discards her? Furthermore, the status of mothers at home almost completely depends on their relationship with their husbands.
So, the idea of women returning home in China may not be that rosy. Of course, for a few members of the wealthy class, it may be doable. But those women who return home may not be truly 'housewives'. They may be mainly directing housemaids to do things, writing checks, and playing the role of director of the home. For the major portion of common women, all they are trying their utmost to do is to protect their own jobs, their own rice bowls. Modern society is very harsh towards Chinese women, so no one dares and should not to casually take the step of "returning home".
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Related web page link：http://beijingspring.com/bj2/2006/420/2006429130213.htm
(Original article published at "Beijing Spring" Magazine's Issue 2006/5. The Wei Jingsheng Foundation is responsible for this version of the English translation.)
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中文版
Overseas Chinese Democracy Coalition News and Article Release Issue Number: A204-O49
中国民主运动海外联席会议新闻与文章发布号：A204-O49
Release Date: May 13, 2006
发布日：2006年5月13日
Topic: Talking to the Chinese Women About "Women Returning Home" From a Human Rights Point of View -- Ciping Huang (original article published at "Beijing Spring" Magazine's Issue 2006/5)
标题：从人权意识谈“妇女回归家庭”-- 黄慈萍 （文章发表于《北京之春》2006年5月号）
Original Language Version: Chinese (Chinese version at the end)
此号以中文为准（英文在前，中文在后）
如有中文乱码问题，请与我们联系或访问:
http://www.weijingsheng.org/report/report2006/report2006-05/HuangCP060513BJSwomenA204-O49.htm
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从人权意识谈“妇女回归家庭”
-- 黄慈萍
写在前面的话
我曾在“美国之音”接受採访，和某教授一起谈论“妇女回归家庭”，效果很不错。现在在《北京之春》这个以男性作者读者为主的刊物上发表一点东西，实在倍感光荣。
因为生为女儿身，命中注定我要面对无数中国社会对女性的不公正与不尊敬。这个不公正在我大学毕业时得到了鲜明的体现。当时我胸有成竹地认为，成绩优异的我可以得到一个更好的工作，却被完全知情的领导送来当头一棒：“但你是女的。”
80年代进入美国公司工作，以为情形有所不同，没想到女同事立即谆谆教导：“如果你想比男人多一份成就，就需要花出比他们多十分的勤奋与智慧。”於是我多年来“警钟长鸣”，孜孜不倦，才终於从见习生逐步晋级到高级光学顾问。这个努力，至少花费了我十二分的勤奋和小心。
８０年末进入人权民主的圈子以后，我常忘了自己是个女的，却时时被人提醒我有着这顶“桂冠”。这些年来，我当过全美学自联唯一的女性主席、全球学联主席，以及今天的魏京生基金会执行主任。但头衔再大，风浪再猛，都大不过猛不过无数次 "女子无才便是德"的影射，以及"让女人挑头是错误"的态度。到后来，当我被公然质疑甚至人身攻击的谩骂所包围的时候，当我看到这种包围得不到人们的打抱不平的时候，我不得不推想：如果我生为男儿郎，是不是情形有所不同？民运人士难免受到各类攻击，但是至少大多数人可以免去身为女性而受到的另一层羞辱吧？
平时别人常常不解我对民运人士“人权意识”分数的打分方法。我和常人的打分方式不同，在我这里，对女人的态度算做总分的 50%——世界上毕竟有50%的女人么！ 这么一来，很多人就“不及格”了。人权意识不及格，还有多少资格来谈人权搞民主呢？
近20年来，我游历各国，在很多场合演讲谈论妇女问题，得到了许多人的同情与支持。在这个依然是男人主宰的世界里，这种声援让我感激。但遗憾的是，我的中国男同胞们在这个问题上却常常比较微弱。我甚至不那么确定，如今我在《北京之春》里发表一部分有关妇女问题的见解，是否能得到 “热爱民主与自由的朋友们”的最起码的理解？坦率地说，我期待，我也担心。
但妇女权利是人权的一部分，无论发生什么，男女平等是不可以阻挡的社会进步潮流。我期待，幷且充满信心。
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就业还是回家
这一阵子，由於西方尤其是美国的右倾，“妇女回归家庭”的呼声增强了。呼声的支持者认为，“男主外，女主内”是社会必然分工，男女生来不一样，养育儿女应该是女性一生的主要任务。
其实对於一个女人来说，就业还是回家当全职家庭妇女，这是个人的选择，应该由妇女本人来决定，而不应成为一种社会的呼籲甚至强迫。我这么说有三点理由。
首先，过去“男主外女主内”的分工，是基於社会的不发达、技术的不先进。在人类初级阶段，男人的体格适应於打猎，女人的性格和技能适应於家务和女红，这样的分工合情合理。即使在有限发达的社会里，男性壮劳力还是强劳力职位的最佳人选。但是现在不同了。大部分重体力劳动被机器和电脑所代替，而家务活也很大程度地被半成品、专业加工三所代替。所以除了怀孕生产这个不能替代的环节以外，女人在养儿育女方面的独特功能也在减弱。谁应该在家里多年不工作、专职抚养孩子和料理家务，幷不特别受性别的限制。而外出工作的情形也一样，其技能越来越少地依赖於性别。
其次，每个家庭和每个妇女的状况都有很大区别，不能强求一律。比如说，有的妇女特别喜欢和擅长照应孩子，有的男人也有这种喜好和擅长。有的妇女则特别喜欢外出工作，对家政兴趣不大。让后一类妇女呆在家里１０年相夫教子，她不仅做不好家务，还可能会有很多心理不平衡。最近获奖的美国电视连续剧《绝望的主妇》里有个四个孩子的妈妈，她最后就是和丈夫角色互换。因为她外出工作比她丈夫更出色，而他丈夫也是个非常出色的“在家爸爸”。
另外，妇女在养育儿女之外的领域里，和男人有同等的天资和能力。妇女外出工作可以发挥自身的潜力，增强妇女的自信、自尊和自立，增强家庭民主化，也促进社会的男女平等。这是一个消除性歧视的关键环节，也是对妇女利益加以保护的关键环节。很多报道说，美国大学生中女生比例超过男生，而高学位的女生比例更是上升。中国也有类似报道，中学生女生成绩普遍比男生好，女研究生多於男研究生等等。如今各行各业都出现不少不让鬚眉的巾帼女秀，说明女人的确有相当的潜力和能力。允许幷鼓励女人自己选择出去工作，不仅可以提高妇女地位，而且对社会有利。
在这个问题上，我所理解的“妇女权益”，不在於是否提倡她们在家还是外出工作，而是给妇女自己做出选择的权力，以及真正尊重她们的多项选择。
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全职妈妈的代价
如果妇女选择在家当全职妈妈，她们多半要承担一些代价。这些代价可能幷不是选择人自己所清醒认识的。她们要付出经济不独立的代价，还有可能付出自我意识下降的代价。
长久已来，家庭妇女在人们眼里，不仅不是“专业人才”，而且是相当低下的职位。有时它就是无知、繁琐、水平低劣的代言词，常常会听到说：“这人真没水平，像个家庭妇女”的说法。女性没有收入，不仅她丈夫不会用正常尺度衡量她的贡献和牺牲，滋长出高人一等的心态，而且女人本身也会自卑，觉得"靠人养活"，不由自主地做出顺从的姿态。要是女人想为自己买东西，或是想在经济上帮助娘家，没有自己的收入都会有很多顾虑和犹豫。我就听很多家庭主妇说过类似的感觉：“用人家的钱真不容易。不如用自己的钱那么痛快。”所以她们一旦有机会，就会积极争取打点短工。我还知道有的妇女平时买家用物品时，悄悄把省下来的一两块钱收藏起来，做为自己的小金库，以满足自己的那一丁点儿经济自主权。这个心理，不是每月拿工资的男人女人们可以真正体谅的。
长期在家当主妇的女人，经济上感情上都有依赖，成了真正的依靠者。这些造成妇女在家庭中的地位低下，婚姻中的相互尊重也因此大打折扣。一旦婚姻出了故障，家庭妇女通常陷入精神与经济的双重困境。
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母亲才能最好地担当养育孩子的责任？
很多强烈主张妇女在家担任全职母亲的人认为，祇有母亲才能最好地担任起抚养和教育孩子的责任。这种看法，在社会不够进步的时候，有其现实意义。在家母亲承担了主要的养育工作，让一个家庭稳定而温暖，从而给社会的稳定做出了贡献。
但是社会进步的一大标志是社会分工。这个分工的重要意义就是专业化。这个分工远远超过了原始时期的性别分工。我理解的专业化就是让有知识、有才能的人去干他熟悉、理解、擅长的事情。教育孩子是需要很多专业知识的，不仅仅是爱心就可以了。为什么我们接受别的行业的专业化，而不接受这个环节的专业化呢？幼儿园、学前班、学校、夏令营等等都是这个分工的产物。虽然这些专业分工不能代替母亲的爱，就像母爱不能代替父爱一样，但是幼儿园提供了更广泛的游戏活动，以及与人交往的机会，这比孩子单独地围着妈妈转、听一个人讲故事要丰富多彩一些吧？我不知道这样的环境会产生什么样的行为差别，或是不良倾向。孩子在成长过程中，需要的不仅仅是牛奶麵包，甚至不仅仅是母亲的无微不至的关爱，还需要学习生活、认识世界。在现在一胎化政策下的中国，独生子女们更需要一个家外的社会环境来学会正常的社交及与他人的合作。
就我本身的经验和周围人的例子来说，我没有看到在家母亲的孩子一定比外出母亲的孩子更优秀这个事实，以及它的可靠调查数据。也没有数据说明，双职工家庭的孩子一定比在家妈妈的孩子出现更多的问题。而我所看到的那些学有成果、行为端正的孩子，就是我们说的“有出息”的孩子，多半都来自父母双方受教育程度高的家庭，而且大多数是母亲本人就很优秀，知书达理、自信自立，她们通常本人就是一个事业上成功的女人。
其实，养育孩子是人类最艰难的工作，在某种程度上说它比制造宇宙飞船更不容易。这是全人类的共同责任。而它的艰难，不单牵扯到体力和时间，“育人”本身是一项涉及到心理学、人类学、社会学、医学的综合科学。在“谁最有资格养育孩子”这个问题上，如果从专业化的角度讲，应该是有爱心的儿童教育家、心理学家吧？所以我觉得幼稚园、小学、短期兴趣班、各类校后活动都是特别重要的。父母双方给孩子最重要的东西，就是他们的爱和耐心，还有他们自身品格、道德的影响，甚至也包括他们对工作的敬业态度，以及事业上的奋斗和追求。这方面，父母双方的作用都是很重要的。母亲的形象和作用不单单体现在任劳任怨做家务上，母爱是多方面的。“培养有能力有道德的下一代”如果仅仅一个“在家母亲”就能胜任和完成，那育人岂不是件太简单的事情？
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中国妇女回归家庭的可能性
中国一贯号称男女平等。表面上“妇女能顶半边天”的口号响彻云霄，但实际上妇女的地位相当低劣。
首先是招募新人时的性歧视。雇佣单位多半愿意招聘男人。如果被招聘的是年轻女人，招募单位会担心她不久结婚生子，影响工作；如果被招聘的是中年女人，招募单位会嫌怨她们有太多的家累，如果招聘的是中老年女人，她们基本上就被处理成垃圾。这种情形在非专业领域更加明显。中国在找工方面没有政府的硬性规定，所以你到处可以看到这样的广告：招募某某工作，要求 26岁以下女性……等等。甚至报社的编辑职位都限制在年龄35 岁以下。女人本来寿命比男的长，但是退休年龄却通常比男人早。一般女工45岁就退休了，专业人员也是女性50岁退休。
其次是在同等能力同等职位的情形下，女人通常比男人拿的工资少，得到提升的机会也少。近年来生存处境不断恶化，工作市场竞争厉害，受过高等教育的女青年也更难找到一份体面的职业。她们在求职就业中有许多无奈和辛酸。有的人没有办法，祇有把自己的美人照和简历一同寄去，以期用美色谋得一职。而政府部门也不尊重知识女性的人格。湖南省在录用公务员的体检表准中，竞要求女性“第二性征发育正常，乳房对称无包块”。
中国一些工厂大量招收农村来的女工，在血汗工资制下当牛做马，她们工作十几个小时，所得报酬微薄，缺少必要的劳保和医疗保险，还常常受到性骚扰。
现在中国社会出现“包二奶”、“三陪女”、“卖淫”等现象，也是妇女地位低下的一个佐证。 要说妇女地位，北欧各国如丹麦与挪威在这方面都做得比较好，比美国好，虽然美国已经大大超过中国了。在瑞典我有个朋友目前正在修当父亲的新生儿假，这是整个国家的规定，不因公司而异。而且这个国家在男女平等方面做的相当不错。比如说他们的国会里男女数目基本相等，整个国家里女老闆多於男老闆。可以说是“真正的男女平等与社会主义”了。
中国的劣势不是一点点。美国至少在法律上规定了男女的平等权利，还在提供工作机会、社会福利、离婚补偿等方面照顾了妇女的权益。但中国就很不同了。离婚方面中国的政策对妇女的保护很不够。美国的离婚制度在很大程度上帮助了“在家妈妈”。比如丈夫提出离婚，他必须给孩子足够的赡养费，还要给暂时不能工作的母亲规定年限的赡养费，有的州还规定，如果这个母亲想去读书，离婚了丈夫还要为其支付教育费用。有的州以类似“青春补偿”的费用来支付教育费用。理由是妇女在家，丢失了进一步受教育、增长技能的机会。而中国就不是这么回事儿了，离婚以后没有工作技能的女人的状况非常悲惨。
中国妇女会不会向往回归家庭呢？我看除了那些可以永葆青春的漂亮女人以外，哪个女人都不能保证自己做个 “在家妈妈”就有了万无一失的将来，更何况“独生子女”制度让她们的“功劳”减少了许多，她们最多祇能养育一个孩子。如今离婚率在中国持续上升，她们若是彻底失去经济独立和谋生能力，万一被丈夫抛弃，也就失去了保障。而倘若有自愿选择做 "在家妈妈"的，她们的地位几乎全靠自己和丈夫之间关系了，谈不上任何社会地位。
所以女人回归家庭在中国的前途幷不那么美妙。当然对於一些有钱阶级来说是做得到的。但这些“回归”的女人，也未必就是真正的全职母亲。她们在家里不过就是指挥保姆做事情、开开支票而已，是管家的角色。对大部分普通妇女来说，她们极力想保住的，是她们自己的工作，她们自己的饭碗。现代社会对中国妇女是很严峻的，谁也不敢也不应该轻易跨出 “回归家庭”的步伐。
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（首发于《北京之春》2006年5月号。请注明出处。www.weijingsheng.org）
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