Overseas Chinese Democracy Coalition News and Article Release Issue Number: A983-O283

中国民主运动海外联席会议新闻与文章发布号：A983-O283

Release Date: February 4, 2017

发布日：2017年2月4日

Topic: Melancholy at the End of the Winter -- Huang Ciping's Commemoration of Solomon SanYuan LEE and Xuecan WU

标题：悼念李三元兄与吴学灿友 -- 黄慈萍

Original Language Version: Chinese (Chinese version at the end)

此号以中文为准（英文在前，中文在后）

Note: Please use "Simplified Chinese (GB2312)" encoding to view the Chinese parts of this release. If this mail does not display properly in your email program, please send your request for special delivery to us or visit:

http://www.weijingsheng.org/report/report2017/report2017-02/HuangCPcommemoration170204LiSY&WuXCdeathsA983-O283.htm which contains identical information.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Melancholy at the End of the Winter

-- Huang Ciping's Commemoration of Solomon SanYuan LEE and Xuecan WU

A long winter makes people feel no end and lose hope. Although knowing when the winter ends there will be spring eventually, any additional chill will still burden you as every snow and ice storm comes by. Especially when I learn of old friends who have left us, that kind of melancholy is so overwhelming that it cannot be dispersed within a few days.

As the year of the Monkey has yet to be taken over by the New Year of the Rooster, we learned that one of our old friends, Solomon SanYuan LEE, who was one of the founding members of IFCSS (the Independent Federation of Chinese Students and Scholars, USA) and also the director of the "Voice of the June 4th" radio station (official English name: Radio Free China), died of a paragliding accident in Pacifica, California on January 21, 2017, at the age of 59.

Thirty years ago, Sanyuan LEE was studying at the University of Chicago, Illinois. He was already an active member among us overseas Chinese students. After the nationwide student demonstration in China in 1986, the leadership at the University of Science and Technology of China, where I graduated with a degree in nuclear physics, was ousted. GUAN Waiyan, the President, and FANG Lizhi, the Vice-President, were both swept out of the university by the then paramount leader of the Chinese Communist Party DENG Xiaoping. What followed was the further campaign of "the Anti-bourgeois Liberalization" by Deng. This triggered a nationwide protest. At that time, overseas Chinese students also bravely protested against tyranny, despite the danger of being forced to return to China and be persecuted. At that time, Sanyuan was already one of the student leaders.

After the 1989 democratic movement in China which ended with the June 4 Massacre in Beijing, overseas Chinese students were even more active to show solidarity with fellow students inside China. The students in the Midwest part of the USA were especially outstanding due to the leadership of activists such as Dr. Xingyu CHEN and Dr. Sanyuan LEE. At the end of July in 1989, the IFCSS (Independent Federation of Chinese Students and Scholars, USA) was spectacularly established in Chicago. Sanyuan set up the "Voice of June 4th" radio station, which broadcast the overseas situation in a timely manner.

Because I already had a full-time job at that time, it was difficult for me to participate in the majority of the IFCSS activities. But either when I did participate in the IFCSS activities, or in the activities organizing an opposition party which I was more interested in, I always saw the towering figure of Sanyuan LEE, who was quietly video taping or voice recording our events. In those days and nights I often would feel tired, but when I saw that other friends including Sanyuan were all so upbeat, my fatigue disappeared. The last time I saw him was during the 20th anniversary of June 4th Massacre and the 20th anniversary of establishing IFCSS, when several dozens of old IFCSS members gathered in Chicago for a memorable long weekend. Sanyuan shown up briefly. Unfortunately, there were many people with too little time and I failed to talk to him for as long as I had wished.

Sanyuan graduated from Peking University, and later obtained his Ph.D. in Political Science at the University of Chicago. He was handsome and had a lively personality. He had the courage to take responsibility and work seriously and responsibly. He was a "celebrity" among the overseas Chinese students in the USA, especially in the Midwest where I was. The "Voice of June 4th" radio station had several items of video recording equipment which were very advanced at that time. As my professional job was design and research in the optical engineering field, as well as my natural interest of photography and video recording, I always loved to talk to him. Yet, whenever I saw him meticulously recording, or busy to look after his machines, I could not bear to disturb him. I often sighed that these exchanges were so short and disappeared instantaneously like meteor. Now, even more regrettable is that Sanyuan passed so fast like a meteor as well.

Even at that time we all had known Sanyuan was married to CHENG Yu, a daughter of a well-known general and political figure in China. Using a popular term nowadays, he was "within the system" of the Communist regime. Therefore, the brave leadership of Sanyuan to protest the Communist regime was even uneasier. A few years later, Sanyuan faded out from us. It was said that he had to write a guarantee statement to the Communist regime to be able to return to the homeland, etc. There were so many cases like that, for which there has been much controversy and discussion. I think of course it would be most desirable that one would not write these kinds of statements to surrender oneself. However, under the suppression of the Communist regime which does not have a sense of humanity, we need to understand and forgive those who had to bite the bullet for their families and loved ones, as well as other reasonable reasons. We should not condemn too much these people, but should point our fingers at the anti human totalitarian rule of the Communist regime. We should be sympathetic and respectful of those who were persecuted yet maintained their conscience and refused to be an enemy of the people.

For nearly two decades, Sanyuan had been keeping a low profile in seclusion around Indiana and the Chicago area. I did not want to disturb his quiet life, and never took the initiative to contact him. Only when I learned of his accident did I find out that he had moved to California recently. Paragliding has also been a dream of mine, to experience and enjoy the extraordinary freedom and scenery that Sanyuan had already enjoyed for years. At the end of his life, Sanyuan was gliding on the shore of the Pacific Ocean with the beautiful view of the Bay Area. Maybe at the unfortunate moment of his fall he was looking across the water, hoping to see and dreaming of that homeland that we once spend so much time and our youth for! Dear brother Sanyuan, although your paraglider fell down to the Pacific Ocean in the strong wind, I hope your dream was still with you to take your soul in flight over our far away homeland, then reaching heaven!

Sanyuan's death shocked us, the veterans of IFCSS from the past. About 30 of us got together to sign our condolences and make donations, as our way to express our commemoration. Two of our IFCSS friends even attended his memorial service. After nearly three decades, the once youthful us are growing old, and even beginning to die. In the shadow of Sanyuan's death, this shock is self-evident. Back in the 1980's, the young us gathered together, marched together, outcried together, to protest and to demonstrate with our conscience, for a free and democratic future in China. Yet in the vicissitudes of the days and nights of the past 20 some years, even the deviations of the ideal and personal life, have torn us apart and separated us one by one. As I read through the mourning list of names that once I was so familiar with, tears of emotion blurred my eyes.

Although I was unable to go to Sanyuan's memorial service, I did see the picture of his remains. He was still handsome as he was twenty some years ago, despite some gray hairs. I suddenly realized that indeed twenty years is a big part of one's life. Although we have struggled for many years, we have not realized our dream - human rights and democracy for China. This cause may not be realized in the next few years, even within one generation. Maybe we could never build a monument in memory of our comrades who made significant contributions even sacrificing themselves for democracy and human rights in China. But we shall not forget people like Sanyuan and what he did. These people once were our friends who had like-minds, even if they have already departed from us. Today, I am here to commemorate Sanyuan, to praise the contribution he once made, to say my last farewell to him as he departed from us forever.

I feel sorrow for Sanyuan who departed from this world. I also feel sorrow for other friends who have left us. One of them is Mr. Xuecan WU who passed away due to illness more than a year ago. In the past year since his death I have thought of him often, in the way of endless regret. He was a hero of his time who dared to say and dared to do. Once, he raised his arms to shout, and his cry shocked whole China. Yet, it has been a wrong era for heroes. He quietly passed away, without even an essential knowledge and mourning.

Xuecan WU graduated from ZhongShan University in Guangdong, of the Graduate School of the Chinese Academy of Social Sciences. He once served as editor of the People's Publishing House, and was a journalist of the People's Daily. During the pro-democracy movement of 1989 in China, with reporters ZHANG Shu and SONG Bin, Xuecan bravely printed an extra of "People's Daily" which contained "the Five Statements of Zhao Ziyang". So he was wanted nationwide by the Ministry of Public Security, and was sentenced to 4 years imprisonment later in the name of "counter-revolutionary propaganda instigation". During his two and a half years in Qincheng Prison he was in solitary confinement and suffered prolonged insomnia. His body weight plummeted to only 77 pound. In 2013, Wu Xuecan was diagnosed with late stage lung cancer. He died on September 25, 2015 at the age of 64. His wife, Yang Sumei, said her husband never smoked or drank alcohol; he got lung cancer because his prison life damaged too much of his health.

It was Wu Xuecan's will not to have any form of memorial activity after his death. He wanted to make everything simple, and asked to scatter his ashes to the sea. His flesh was gone, but his strong and upright spirit and thought are immortal. What touched me was that even during the last few months of his life, Wu Xuecan did not forget and still cared about China. In his commentaries on Radio Free Asia, he paid tribute and commemoration to his kind superior who had passed away, and he also pointed out that Xi Jinping's anti-corruption was a selective one.

I still remember the first day when I met with Xuecan WU. It was in the summer of 1997, when the IFCSS held its 8th congress at the George Washington University in Washington DC, USA when it elected its council members, including Xuecan. However, before the congress concluded, there were some representatives who challenged the election and asked to expel the newly elected council members Xuecan WU and Dr. Bangzheng CHEN, on the grounds that they were "anti-Communist" and thus would not be conducive for IFCSS to be accepted by the Chinese embassy in the future. They even pointed out and emphasized the fact that Xuecan was wanted by the Chinese government nationwide in 1989 and later stayed in jail for 4 years. "I am an anti-communist and against the Communist dictatorship! So what?" I still remember Xuecan's anger, along with his firm words and expression.

After a big debate, both Xuecan and Chen Bangzheng retained their council member positions. However, at that time, the official communication language of IFCSS was English. This made Xuecan, who just arrived in the USA without adequate English skill, feel very stressful. He had a motion to the IFCSS council to switch English into Chinese, which was rejected by council members like myself who had not used any Chinese for more than one decade. As a matter of fact, at the beginning of my IFCSS presidency, I had to ask Xuecan to help me to draft notices and announcements in Chinese, because I knew that I lacked Chinese proficiency and writing skills that he possessed. Unfortunately, this process was too complicated and too difficult, the differences between our wordings and vocabulary too big, plus the long-distance telephone charges were too expensive those days, so I finally gave up that approach. But I will remember for the rest of my life Xuecan's sincere help.

Sadly, for the majority of the political exiles, it is very difficult to survive in foreign countries where even language is a big enough barrier. As a former reporter and editor of the Chinese official media People's Daily, Xuecan could not use his profession in this foreign land. Instead, as a middle-aged man, he had to do manual labor, in order to be self-reliant. This is precisely the wishful thinking of the Chinese communists when they expel these political leaders, and that is why I think it is important for all of us to join together to give help to such kinds of leaders like WEI Jingsheng. We are not just helping these people as random individuals, but protecting and supporting our outstanding leaders, that is to help the great cause of democracy and freedom in China.

After Xuecan came to the United States, not only was life not easy for him, but his desire to contribute to the democratic movement in China did not quite go along with the direction of his expectations either. So every time I talked to him, he would endlessly complain and denounce for two or three hours. Expecting this, every time I called him I would first check to see if there was enough time. Fortunately, there was something new from time to time in his otherwise repeated content. For example, he invented the term "black collar workers", which was some sort of black humor of his. That was due to the reality that he had to do physical work in order to survive that included sending carry out for the restaurants, recruiting customers for the phone companies, and finally working as a janitor in a school.

Although Xuecan had tried his way to contribute to the cause of democracy, unfortunately overseas conditions were not satisfactory and thus did not meet his expectation. He was upset when he was involved in a not so simple event with a cover of "internal fight within the democracy movement." During that time, those of us who were outsiders could not really help. Although he was a special commentator on Radio Free Asia for many years until the end of his life, that income was not enough to make ends meet. In the early days of his arrival, I tried to give him some help, but it was only a drop in the bucket.

Fortunately, Xuecan's wife and daughter eventually came to the United States. One day, one of the IFCSS council members invited them for a late lunch as a welcome gesture. I also accompanied them. During the lunch this council member made some rude remarks that offended Xuecan. Although I also felt it improper it was inconvenient to say too much. Later, Xuecan repeatedly asked me to pass his protests to that council member, seeking an apology. But I always felt it was uneasy to recover his self-respect and did not do so which made him disappointed. Afterwards, he started to shy away from us and we did not insist him to stay either.

I deeply feel that Xuecan had a strong sense of being lost after he came to the United States, when his lofty ideals ran into a wall of the uneasy results. Many of the political exiles also have this sense of being lost, accompanied by disappointment in life, and even doubts about their ideals. Fortunately, I heard that Xuecan's daughter worked hard, became successful, and was also very dutiful to her parents after she came to the USA. Together with her mother, they provided Xuecan with family affection and the hospice care during his last few months. This made up some for friends like us who regret for being unable to provide enough to help him.

People eventually will die. But those of us who are still alive should not forget these friends in premature death. As we praise the contribution and sacrifice they once had, it is also a recognition and praise of the ideals and endeavor ourselves once had and still believe in, as well as the contribution and sacrifice we all have made. We remember their contributions and sacrifices. We continue their endeavor. This shall be our best commemoration of them.

Winter will end soon, then spring flowers shall bloom. Sanyuan LEE, rest in peace! Xuecan WU, rest in peace!

-- HUANG Ciping

Related photos:

1. Solomon Sanyuan LEE:

http://www.weijingsheng.org/pic/newsletters/newsletters2017/newsletters2017-1/LiSY170121.jpg

2. Xuecan WU:

http://www.weijingsheng.org/pic/newsletters/newsletters2017/newsletters2017-1/WuXC150925.jpg

-----------------------------------------------------------------

This is a message from WeiJingSheng.org

The Wei Jingsheng Foundation and the Overseas Chinese Democracy Coalition are dedicated to the promotion of human rights and democratization in China. We appreciate your assistance and help in any means. We pledge solidarity to all who struggle for human rights and democratic governance on this planet.

You are welcome to use or distribute this release. However, please credit with this foundation and its website at: www.weijingsheng.org

Although we are unable to afford to pay royalty fees at this time, we are seeking your contribution as well. You may send your articles, comments and opinions to: HCP@weijingsheng.org. Please remember, only in text files, not in attachments.

For website issues and suggestions, you may contact our professional staff and web master at: webmaster@Weijingsheng.org

To find out more about us, please also visit our websites at:

www.WeiJingSheng.org and www.ChinaLaborUnion.org

for news and information for Overseas Chinese Democracy Coalition and human rights and democracy movement as whole, especially our Chinese Labor Union Base.

You may contact Ciping Huang at: HCP@Weijingsheng.org or

Wei Jingsheng Foundation office at: 1-202-270-6980

Wei Jingsheng Foundation's postal address is:

Wei Jingsheng Foundation, P. O. Box 15449, Washington, DC 20003, USA

You are receiving this message because you had previous shown your interest in learning more about Mr. Wei Jingsheng and the Chinese Democratic Movement. To be removed from the list, simply reply this message and use "unsubscribe" as the Subject. Please allow us a few days to process your request.

*****************************************************************

中文版

Overseas Chinese Democracy Coalition News and Article Release Issue Number: A983-O283

中国民主运动海外联席会议新闻与文章发布号：A983-O283

Release Date: February 4, 2017

发布日：2017年2月4日

Topic: Melancholy at the End of the Winter -- Huang Ciping's Commemoration of Solomon SanYuan LEE and Xuecan WU

标题：悼念李三元兄与吴学灿友 -- 黄慈萍

Original Language Version: Chinese (Chinese version at the end)

此号以中文为准（英文在前，中文在后）

如有中文乱码问题，请与我们联系或访问：

http://www.weijingsheng.org/report/report2017/report2017-02/HuangCPcommemoration170204LiSY&WuXCdeathsA983-O283.htm

-----------------------------------------------------------------

冬末别后的惆怅

-- 悼念李三元兄与吴学灿友

漫漫冬日，让人感到没有尽头，没有希望。明知冬尽春将至，但每一场冰雪，依然会增添一股寒意。尤其当得知昔日好友乘仙鹤西去，那绵绵的惆怅岂是三五日可以驱散？

猴年将尽鸡年尚未到达之日，我们得知昔日老友，全美学自联的老骨干，原“六四之声”电台台长李三元博士于2017年1月21日在加州湾区驾滑翔伞因事故不幸去世，终年59岁。

三十年前，在芝加哥的李三元就是我们留学生中的活跃分子。一九八六年的学潮后，我母校中国科学技术大学的校长管惟炎、副校长方励之被扫地出门，中共领导人邓小平更进一步地“反资产阶级自由化”，因此引发了全国范围的大抗议。当时海外留学生也冒着可能被逼迫回国和受迫害的危险抗议暴政，三元兄就是领头人之一。

之后在以中共的六四屠杀为终的一九八九年民主运动中，海外留学生更是积极声援，而美国的中西部各校学生尤其表现出色。这和有陈兴宇博士和李三元博士这样的领袖人物是分不开的。一九八九年七月底，全美中国学生学者自治联合会（全美学自联）在芝加哥正式成立，场面壮观。三元兄成立了“六四之声”电台，将海外的情况及时传播。

我因当时已经有了个全职工作，很难参加学自联的大多数活动。但无论是我参加得比较少的学自联活动，还是参加得比较多的组织反对党的活动，都能见到三元兄高大的身影，默默地录像录音。在那些没日没夜的日子里，我常常会感到劳累，但看到包括三元在内的其它朋友那样神采奕奕，劳累感也就消失了。我最后一次见到三元，正值北京六四惨案20周年暨全美学自联成立20周年，几十位初建者集聚一堂，在芝加哥度过了一个难忘的长周末。三元兄来了，却没有久留。可惜当时人多时间少，未能与他好好聊聊。

三元兄毕业于北京大学，之后在芝加哥大学获得政治学博士。他性格活泼，潇洒英俊，勇于承担责任，做事认真负责，是我所处的美国中西部的“名人”。他建立的“六四之声”电台几台录像录音设备在当时都很先进，作为搞光学工程设计研究工作且对照相录像有天生爱好的我，总爱和他聊聊。可每每见他一丝不苟地录像、录音，或是忙于照看他的机器，我就不忍太打搅他。我常常叹息这曾经的交流是如此短暂，如流星般瞬即消失。可如今连三元兄也如流星般逝去，更是令人唏嘘。

当时大家就知道，三元兄娶了中国历史上赫赫有名的将军兼政治人物程潜之女程玉为妻，以现在爱用的词就算是共产党“体制内的”。因此，三元兄的奋臂一呼更为不易。数年后，三元淡出了，据说是为了能回国，不得不写了保证书。这类情况数不胜数，为此也曾有很多争议和讨论。但我觉得，能不写固然最好，但在没有人性的中共暴政的压迫下，不得不为人之常情而忍辱负重的人是需要理解和原谅的。我们不应过多地谴责他人，而更应将矛头指向万恶不赦、反人性的中共极权统治。那些即使被逼迫，也还能保持良知、拒绝为虎作伥与人民为敌的人是应当得到体谅与尊重的。

我知道，近二十年来，三元一直低调隐居在印地安那及芝加哥地区。而我也不再想打搅他平静的生活，再不曾主动和他联络过。直到这次听说他在湾区出事，才知他不久前搬到了加州。驾滑翔伞也曾是我的梦想，能领略到不同寻常的自在和风光。而这个梦想已被三元兄实现了多年。在他生命的最后时刻，三元兄正在美丽的太平洋此岸乘风滑翔。在他不幸坠落的那一刻，也许他正在远眺彼岸，梦想着那个我们曾经为之付出那么多时光和青春的故乡！三元兄，虽然你的滑翔伞摔入了太平洋，但愿你曾经的梦想还在，能带着你的灵魂飞翔到那远方的故乡，再到天堂！

三元兄的过世惊动了我们学自联过去的老朋友。三十来位曾经的老友难得聚到一起签名捐款，对他表示哀悼和纪念。还有两位朋友参加了他的追悼会。近三十年的沧海桑田后，曾经风华正茂的我们开始老去，甚至开始死亡。在三元兄过世的这个阴影下，这种震撼是不言而喻的。为了中国的自由民主未来，年轻的有良知的我们曾经在1980年代的那些风风雨雨里走在一起，游行示威，呼吁呐喊。但二十多年的岁月沧桑，乃至理想与个人生活的偏差，将我们生生地撕裂开来，各自一方。当我读着那些我曾如此熟悉的悼念名单时，感慨的泪水模糊了我的双眼。

我虽未能赶上三元兄的悼念仪式，但看到了他的遗容。他依然如二十多年前那样清秀英俊，只是多了些华发。我突然意识到，的确二十年是人生的一大块，虽说我们奋斗了这许多年，而我们的梦想--中国的民主尚未实现。这个事业不是三五年就一定能达到的目标，甚至不是一代人能做到的。也许我们永远无法建立一个丰碑，纪念那些与我们志同道合，做过重大贡献乃至牺牲的人们。即使如此，我们也不能忘了像三元这样的朋友，那些曾经相沫以儒的朋友，哪怕他们已经远离了。今天我在这里纪念三元，赞扬他曾做过的贡献，也是对远行的他的最后送别。

远离的三元让我伤感，远离的其它朋友也让我心痛。其中之一便是一年多前因病过世的吴学灿先生。这一年多来常常想到他，竟有种此恨绵绵的感觉。一位敢说敢为的英雄曾经奋臂高呼，他的呐喊震惊了全中国。惜乎，生不逢时，他却静悄悄地去世了，似乎连最起码的通知与追悼都没有。

吴学灿毕业于广东中山大学，中国社会科学院新闻研究生班。他曾任职为人民出版社编辑及《人民日报》的编辑和记者。1989年民运期间，吴学灿勇敢地与《人民日报》时任记者张抒、宋斌等人一起将「赵紫阳的五点声明」印成《人民日报》号外。因此他被公安部全国通缉，后被以「反革命宣传煽动罪」判外有期徒刑4年。在秦城监狱关押的2年半时间里，他被单独监禁，长时间失眠，体重曾骤减至35公斤。吴学灿于2013年被诊断罹患肺癌晚期，于2015年9月25日逝世，享年64岁。他的妻子杨素梅称，丈夫从来不抽烟不喝酒，得肺癌是因为监狱生活对他的身体摧残得太厉害。

吴学灿的生前意愿是死后不举行任何形式的追悼活动，一切从简，骨灰撒向大海。他的肉体消失了，但他的坚强刚正的精神和思想不朽。使我感慨的是，直到他生命的最后几个月，吴学灿还不忘和关心着中国，他在自由亚洲电台的评论节目上怀念善待他的老上级，并指出习近平反腐败是选择性的反腐。

我至今还记得初识吴学灿的那一天。那是1997年夏天全美学自联在美国首都华盛顿的乔治华盛顿大学召开第八届大会，会上选出了包括吴学灿在内的理事会。然而，会议尚未结束，就有代表要求开除吴学灿和陈邦铮博士两位新任理事，理由是他们“反共”，不益于学自联今后和中共官方搞好关系。他们甚至强调了吴学灿曾在1989年被中国政府所通缉并坐牢4年的历史。“反共怎幺了？我就是反共，反对中共的独裁暴政！”我至今还记得他愤怒而又坚定的言语和表情。

经过一场大辩论，吴学灿和陈邦铮还是担任学自联的理事。但当时学自联理事会的官方通讯文字是英文。这使得刚到美国不久又不懂英文的学灿甚为苦恼。他曾要求将通讯文字改为中文，但被像我这样的已经十多年不曾用过中文，也不会打字的理事们否决了。事实上，在我任学自联主席之初，我自知自己缺乏中文上的才气和文字功底，不得不请求他帮助我起草中文的通知和公告，并打出文本来。可惜这个过程太复杂且太艰巨，我们之间的言语和词汇区别也相去甚远，长途电话费又太贵，我最终还是放弃了。但我对学灿的热诚帮助将永记在心。

可悲可叹的是，对于大多数政治流亡人士来说，在言语不通的异国他乡生存是非常艰难的。曾在中国官媒人民日报专职任记者和编辑的吴学灿就更无法发挥他的优势，乃至人到中年的他不得不做体力活，以图自食其力。这正是中共驱逐流放这些政治领袖的如意算盘，也是我认为必须众人拾柴，齐心协力来帮助魏京生这样的领袖人物的重要原因。须知，我们并不仅仅是帮助某些个人，而是为整个中国的民主自由大业添砖加瓦，才来保护和扶持这些出色的领袖人物的。

学灿来美后不仅生活不易，他想在民运方面做贡献的理想也未沿他所期望的方向发展。每次和他通话，他能滔滔不绝地抱怨和声讨两三个小时。以致于每次我给他打电话前，要先看看有没有足够多的时间先留出来。好在他重复的内容里时不时会有些新意，比简单的祥林嫂要强。比如说他发明了“黑领工人”这一名词，就很有些黑色幽默。那是他为了生存不得不做苦力，到中餐馆送外卖，到电话公司拉客户，最后在一所学校做清洁工的现实体会和真实写照。

虽然学灿也努力试图以他可能的方式为中国的民主事业做贡献，可惜海外条件并不称心如愿。他曾因介入一次并非简单的所谓“民运内斗”而伤透了心。我们这些外围者也帮不上什么。虽说他在自由亚洲电台做了多年的特约评论员直到生命的最后阶段，但那个收入是根本不够糊口的。在他初来咋到的早期，我虽曾力所能及地给过些帮助，但实属杯水车薪。

后来，学灿的太太和女儿终于来到了美国。那天，学自联的另一位理事请她们吃饭，为她们洗尘。我也陪同。席间，这位理事出言不逊，冒犯了学灿。我虽觉尴尬，但也不便多说。之后，学灿曾多次向我表示对那位理事的抗议，要求道歉。但我总觉不妥，使自尊心受到伤害的他失望了。之后他从学自联淡出了，我们也没能挽留。

我深深地感到，学灿来美后，壮志未酬，身无用武之地的失落感是很强的。许多政治流亡者也多少有这种失落感，伴随的便是对生活的失望，乃至对理想的怀疑。所幸，听说学灿的女儿来美后发奋图强，学有成就，孝敬父母，和她的母亲一起为吴学灿提供了不仅仅是家庭的亲情也是更艰难的最后几个月的临终关怀。这多少弥补了我们这些心有余而力不足的朋友们的遗憾。

人总是要死的。但还活着的我们不该忘记这些早逝的朋友。我们赞扬他们曾经的贡献和牺牲，也是对自己曾经和依然坚信的理念和事业，包括自己所做的贡献和牺牲的认同和赞扬。我们会承前启后，继续他们未竟的事业，这也就是对他们最好的悼念。

冬日将尽，春花就会盛开。李三元，安息！吴学灿，安息！

-- 黄慈萍