Merry Christmas and Happy New Year of 2018!

祝大家圣诞快乐，2018年全年如意！

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Wei Jingsheng Foundation News and Article Release Issue: A1073-W710

魏京生基金会新闻与文章发布号：A1073-W710

Release Date: December 24, 2017

发布日：2017年12月24日

Topic: My Love of Europe, My Love of the Rhine -- Casual Reflections on Observing the 500th Anniversary of the Protestant Reformation of Martin Luther and the 100^th Anniversary of the October Revolution (Ciping HUANG, published by the December 2017 issue of Chinese European Post)

标题：情系欧洲，情系莱茵 -- 路德新教运动500周年兼苏联十月革命100周年时的随想 -- 黄慈萍 (欧华导报2017年12月版原创首发)

Original Language Version: Chinese (Chinese version at the end)

此号以中文为准（英文在前，中文在后）

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(Originally published by Chinese European Post, December 2017 issue. http://www.chinesen.de/)

My Love of Europe, My Love of the Rhine

-- Casual Reflections on Observing the 500th Anniversary of the Protestant Reformation of Martin Luther and the 100^th Anniversary of the October Revolution

-- Ciping HUANG

Fate, like that kite flying in the sky, is tied to a line that is hard-to-see. Occasionally, when the breeze blows, it rises high yet even itself does not know where it will fly toward and where it will fall. All individuals have their wills and their intentions. They all have the desire to pursue love and beauty. However, destiny and reality are not necessarily what most people can control. All people have to face their own destiny and reality, to decide, to choose, including the choice to drift along in hopes to reach the shore of happiness.

In my turbulent times sometimes I chose to evade reality, including the people and matters that I had to confront, or just to evade my responsibilities and what I needed to do. My haven is Europe. Here I do not know people. I can wander through my favorite streets and lanes. I would talk to people I do not know. No one knew me, no one would ask me why I was in tears. Europe, a place full of culture and history, strikes me with its civilization especially its art. It has helped me to evade the troubles in my difficult time, and be able to passively confront my problems. The streets of Europe give people a sense of beauty and romance. Everywhere, I could find arts include paintings and music to draw my attention and help me. One of the two favorite melodies I liked to listen to while I was in Europe was Schubert's Serenade. Its tenderness could melt all the worries, with reminisces of once happy and romantic times.

Despite my sentiments of Europe being basically personal, my review of the past is not limited to it. This October I visited the Czech Republic and Poland, which reminded me that I visited both countries before for official business, yet without a decent tour to know the local customs and culture. At the end of June 2000, Wei Jingsheng and I participated in the first conference of the Community of Democracy in Warsaw as it was established. We just talked to people in the venue without even going out.

What I still remember with vivid clarity is in the early spring of 2002, Wei Jingsheng and I made a special trip to Prague to meet with Vaclav Havel, then president of the Czech Republic. It was a hurry trip of come and go, in less than two days. At that time, the Czech Republic was not formally a part of the Schengen system and getting into the country was not easy. Although we had a special order from the presidential palace for entry, it still took more than two hours for us to cross the border into the Czech Republic; a true demonstration of the efficiency of the socialist countries. This October I wanted to take a photo in front of the abolished customs building when I was leaving the Czech Republic to go back to Germany. However, as I was in a hurry and wondering whether the KFC fried chicken store was that former custom building or not, I had already drove past the exit without my opportunity to stop.

The sole purpose of that trip to the Czech Republic was to meet President Vaclav Havel and promote human rights work. Although later we walked down the streets in Prague, we were in a hurry to return to Geneva the next day. I left that beautiful city without too many impressions. I remember that I drove directly up to the presidential palace and parked my car there without seeing too many tourists. But this time when I visited Prague, not only did I witness the glory of the Prague Castle, I also saw a huge number of tourists. It is hard to imagine how we were able to escape those crowds, drive straight into that presidential palace, and then leave in a hurry. The only impression I have is that the beautiful and simple stone paved road leading to the Presidential Palace made the me rather uncomfortable in the cheap rental car I had.

Since my first visit to Europe in the spring of 1991, in the past more than 2 decades I have been to Europe many times. In 1991, I had a rough time of my life of great disappointment and even desperation. I took a leave of 3 weeks from the company I was working for to visit Europe. I bought a Euro pass for about 500 dollars which enabled me to travel all over Western Europe in first class trains. At that time I would visit places in the daytime and take a night train to the furthest city -- so I could spend the nights in the train to save hotel money. However, the three-week trip was forced to another month longer when TWA Airlines miss-handled my travel papers to return to the United States. There were no ATM machines those days and Europe was more expensive than I expected. Each country had their own currency without an easy to use euro. It was easy to run out of the local currency without enough money to buy food. The stores were not open on Sundays, and for several Sundays I could not find food and had to pray to God for Mondays. Fortunately, every Monday arrives timely after a Sunday, so I did not have to starve to death in Europe.

Fortunately, two of my company colleagues traveled to Europe on a business trip and solved my financial crisis. But they could not solve my visa crisis. At that time there was no Schengen visa, and it had taken me several months in the United States to get each individual visa for several countries in Western Europe, which included Switzerland, Germany, France, Italy, Denmark, etc. Nevertheless, the effective period of these visas were very short. I hopelessly saw them expire one after another, which reduced my mobility greatly. The saddest and irritating thing is that as I was traveling with my American colleagues, to cross the borders they only needed to wave their American passport, while my Chinese passport and the visa was looked over again and again by the border guards. Since then, I became more determined than ever to obtain a U.S. citizenship as soon as possible. Yet, over twenty years have passed and I have not applied for U.S. citizenship so far. This is indeed not what I expected.

I fell in love with Europe, not only because of its beautiful scenery and architecture, but also because of its humanities and history. As I grow older, with more visits of Europe, this sentiment gets stronger and stronger. When I was suffering as a hopeless girl without a future to hope for, Europe was a fairyland symbolizing myths and fairies. Yet after I grew up, Europe was still a place to evade trouble and sadness, to avoid and flee from the realities I did not want to face. Even when I was free from troubles and sorrow, Europe was still the land that I can sleepwalk happily. Its scenes and humanity make me happy and free. Every time I come to Europe, no matter how hard or uneasy it was, I will find joy and hope. Even during a business trip, I would find an opportunity to slip out, to meet strangers, to talk about local culture and history, or even just to buy a cup of coffee and sit on the side of the road to watch pedestrians, or lie on the lawn under the tree in a sunny day, with my eyes closed in repose.

If one day I cannot go to Europe like this, that would be terrible!

When I visited Europe before, my favorite and most likely stayed in countries were France, Italy, and Switzerland. In comparison, although I passed through Germany many times before, I rarely stayed. Part of the reason was due to my terrifying experience of being unable to return to the United States in 1991, which happened in a German-speaking area. The other part was due to my great admiration of the well-kept ancient art and churches in these countries especially of the Greek, Roman and Renaissance periods. In comparison, the relics and churches in Germany were devastated by World War II, and were mostly incomplete.

Only during the last few recent trips to Europe did my preferences begin to change. It could be called an extended fondness, especially due to the touches of Romanticism and a special trip along the River of Rhine, thus a more emotional tie and interest in its history and people associated with it. With more learning in depth, more infection with sentiment builds. I become moved by Romanticism, as well as the people and region associated with it. This year, I visited Germany three times in a row, not only because of the need for activities and contacts, but also to realize my own dreams. In the meantime, I visited some of the attractions, especially my favorite European churches and city centers.

Taking my favorite sites of European churches and cathedrals as an example, the stained glass windows of the cathedrals are a favorite, as well as the paintings, sculptures, even entire architecture, and the biblical stories and cultural contents that make me linger. Unfortunately, those beautiful and fragile stained glass windows are also the easiest victims of war and turmoil. I have been to Cathédrale Notre-Dame de Chartres, 80 kilometers outside Paris, a number of times. The introduction there was proud to inform visitors that during the Second World War, local people protected all these beautiful and precious sacred artifacts of 800 years old through various efforts. They took great pains to take off these windows and then relocate them, and to reinstall them after the war, and so on. For these precious historical relics, a U.S. colonel named Welborn Griffith did not take his superiors' instructions to bomb the Chartres Cathedral, after careful investigation. During World War II, the town of Chartres was almost completely wiped out, but its beautiful and solemn cathedral still stands tall and waves at the people. Colonel Griffith died in 1944 not far from Chartres, unable to see the complete restoration of this cathedral that he defended with honor. However, if his soul knows, presumably he will be smiling in heaven.

In April this year, I was at Blois on the Loire in France. The Saint-Nicolas-Saint-Laumer cathedral that is a combination of Romanesque and Gothic architecture, is next to the Museum of Resistance, Deportation and Liberation. I noticed that all the classic stained glass in this otherwise traditional cathedral no longer exists; instead there is modern stained glass of abstract artwork with crisp and colorful shapes. As the light of the sunset shone on those rich colored windows, they projected colorful 4-dimentional flowers on the interior walls of the cathedral, rotating and changing slowly as the sun shifting westwards. It is hard to describe the shock and inspiration I felt when I saw this live art. On my way back to Paris, I fell into endless and speechless thought. I suddenly realized that, like life, even in the face of regrets and tragedies, different ways of coping and correct motivation may bring unexpected effects and layers that otherwise one would not realize and achieve. Even facing predicament that is more difficult than evasion, it can still be beautiful, even though with some miseries. Just as the autumn woods when most of the leaves fall, show not only different colors but also more splendor and layers in transparencies when more light penetrates into the woods.

Since then, I have become interested in the German churches that I once would pass on. In the war-torn Germany, there were churches like the one in Blois everywhere. This summer, I spend a fair amount of time touring these churches in southern Germany from Pfarrkirche Sankt Stephan in Mainz, towarded the west and north along the picturesque Rhineland, including Wetzlar and Limburg an der Lahn. I also followed the Main river east, to Würzburg, Bamberg, and Nuremberg. Except for Bamberg, just as I had observed in the past the classical stained glass in these German churches were almost all gone, with part or even entire churches damaged or flattened during the war. However, the diligent and intelligent German people reconstructed these churches and gave them new colors and vitality through new life and innovative new art forms.

This year marks the 500th anniversary of the protestant reformation of Martin Luther. Hovering in the streets and alleys of Germany while admiring the art and architecture of old and new Germany, I thought of and was inspired by many characters and history that propelled social change and progress. It also made me have a better understanding and appreciation of Romanticism and its culture.

I visited Wetzlar, the seat of the Imperial Supreme Court (Reichskammergericht) of the Holy Roman Empire (Heiliges Römisches Reich). The young Goethe was a trainee in the court there, where he wrote his immortal novel The Sorrows of Young Werther that was inspired by real events he experienced in Wetzlar. What touched me even more in this town is that its cathedral, which has changed from a Romanesque to a Gothic style over the times yet has not been fully completed to date, is shared by Catholics and Protestants both. People may have different religions, different skin colors, and different nationalities, however, people's love of nature, love of their relatives and friends, love of life and their love for freedom are all common and similar.

The Protestant reform not only brought the people of Europe out of the dark medieval times, not only enabled ordinary believers to study the Bible directly, but also helped the modern people acquire the basic rights. The example of Europe and the United States helped to realize the idea of universal values to be spread all over the world. In Nuremberg, I noticed that the International Film Human Rights Festival was under way. I also know there is a human rights street in Nuremberg. In the old city of Frankfurt, I was surprised to find and visit the Paulskirche where the Frankfurt National Assembly was located in 1848. Of course, history has its twists and turns. In Nuremberg, I also visited the Nazi Party Rally Grounds.

On this special commemoration of the 500th anniversary, when people cherish their memory of Martin Luther and praise Martin Luther, I often think of the many martyrs who have suffered or even been sacrificed for this religious reform. Among these, I most admire Jan Hus, the first pioneer and martyr of this movement, the nobleman Louis de Berquin, as well as the first French martyr of this religious reform, Pauvanne, and many other martyrs in other parts of Europe. Knowing the darkness of the Middle Ages and the deadly consequence when violating the Holy See, they still expressed their own opinions and took action. They endured torture and sacrificed their lives to defend their faith. How impassioned this sacrifice! Although the flesh of these pioneers has long gone, and most people in the world do not even know the names of these martyrs, we are all enjoying the achievements and contributions they made without necessarily consciously knowing it. We need to carry on their unyielding spirit and continue to bring new features to our society. To create a brand new world, to promote the progress of history, to make people happy and to gain prosperity for our society, we need a lot of Jan Huses. We must learn the courage and sacrifice of Jan Hus.

Nowadays, people in a free and fair society may not know and perhaps even do not care about the great significance of the sacrifice of these martyrs. But is it not that the people can enjoy these freedoms and fairness, that is exactly what these martyrs wanted to see? The vigorous change brought by the religious reforms in Europe to the world's politics and society is the result of the dedication and sacrifice made by many warriors. Therefore, we recognize that we need such courage and sacrifice to make contributions to the people, not for fame and fortune. Only in this way can we promote social progress, promote fair and equitable social development, even as we face misunderstanding and even ridicule of the others, even when we face danger and may even lose our lives!

Indeed, there are several factors that are indispensable in promoting new progress successfully, as defined by the Chinese: the time, the place and the people. However, we must clearly understand that the progress of any society must be promoted and participated in by the people. Looking back on the beginning of the protestant movement 500 years ago, it was on October 31, 1517, when Martin Luther composed his "95 Theses," which protested the Pope's sale of reprieves from penance, or indulgences. However, the protestant movement did not simply succeed on that day. It resulted in two wars in Germany and several wars in the rest of Europe from 1524 to 1648. It lasted more than 100 years and caused numerous casualties. Germany, the most important and most active country of the protestant reformation, also paid the greatest price for it. Not only were innumerable numbers of German lives lost during these wars, but also it made the unification of their own country become impossible until the rise of German romanticism in the 19th century. Despite all the difficulties, eventually Europe got out of the darkness of the Middle Ages.

As a research scientist and engineer, I was greatly encouraged by the positive impact of science and technology on religion in the social progress, especially the advent of typeset printing technology. Typesetting makes it possible to print the bible for general public use at the direction of the protestant movement instead of allowing the Bible to be a tool for the prestige few self-interested individuals and royalty, or religious autocrats, or being monopolized only by people who knew Latin. From this point of view, religious reform had its historical inevitability.

This year also marks the 100th anniversary of the October Revolution of the USSR. Every time I come to Eastern Europe, I witness the rapid transformation of Eastern Europe after the collapse of the Soviet Union, especially its pace of integration with the civilized world, which inevitably reminds me of my own country in a deep disaster. After all, Russia has ideologically condemned and abandoned the Communism that killed hundreds of millions of people in the past 100 years. All these years, my contact with the dissidents and opposition parties in Eastern Europe and the Soviet Union made me firmly convinced of my choice and my position, as well as to study and to think about the setbacks and problems that they have been facing. This will have an educational and learning role in the future transformation of democracy in China.

But I am not that optimistic about the situation in China either. Many years of enslavement and brainwashing have turned many people into corpses that do not know anything about Eastern culture nor understand Western civilization, as they are "walking with the times" and "following the money". When we compare the Chinese Communist regime with the Nazis back then, we see that Liu Xiaobo, who "has no enemy", was not free even at his death, while the Nazis would at least make some superficial actions to Carl von Ossietzky, the journalist against it who won the Nobel Peace Prize in 1935. When we see the picture of the Nazi Germans driving the Jews out of their homes, we see what happened in China as a reality: during the cold winter months, the Chinese Communist authorities pushed the "low-end" Chinese from their homes out of Beijing and Guangzhou, and more. When we compare the Chinese Communists regime with what was in Eastern Europe, we know that although German Chancellor Angela Merkel was born in Hamburg of West Germany, her parents were sent to East Germany for their religious work which East Germany allowed. This is impossible in China, and meanwhile every “approved” Church must have Communist Party branches. People often refer to Pope John Paul II's contribution to the democratization of Poland and other countries. But this influence is also relevant to the relatively relaxed atmosphere in these countries in comparison to China. These relatively relaxed social and livimg conditions were demonstrated in the old USSR movie "the Village Teacher (1947)" and the "Doctor Zhivago" (1957) novel by Soviet writer Boris Pasternak.

When I was in Europe, the other melody that often echoed in my ears was "Lara’s Theme" in “the Doctor Zhivago” movie. That beautiful and tender melody, in stark contrast with the bloody and cruel reality, would touch people. What impressed me most is that even in a high-pressure and twisted society, there is a genuine desire and love of life regardless how complex and helpless it might be. One of the things that touched me most was the portrayal of Lara, Dr. Zhivago's lover: though she was not born into the right time, with a tough life, she was still beautiful and sentimental, and even unable to extricate herself. I would sigh and weep for the love between these two. Their misfortune was just an epitome of those of us under the Communist dictatorship. Despite more seperation than togetherness, I felt the sincere love of Dr. Zhivago to Lara, although in this unsatisfactory human society, it would be hard to have a perfect result. I sigh, real life including love, can never be perfect, but it would always be beautiful, even tainted with misery, even with dark clouds in the sky or gusty wind overhead.

My journey to Europe cannot solve my own problems, but it is still a journey of good and the best of many possibilities. In my eyes, Europe will always be a fairyland surrounded with hazy morning mist, while offering me the fragrance and colors of the roses. Although in reality, the perfect stories of the prince and the fairy cannot be truthful, at least not so perfect, people still look forward to wonderful love and perfect life with ardent expectations. Does not everyone expect so? In my heart, the Rhine River region is still the origin of a romantic culture with many famous monuments that cannot be forgotten. Even facing a painful and tortured reality, with tears in my eyes and pain in my heart, I will still sit on the banks of the Rhine, dreaming of the prince appearing from that river and recalling the fairytale associated with him. While watching the boats on the river and listening to the waves of the river, I would sing, I would bless.

(Attachment: My translation Lara’s Theme into a Chinese poem)

Somewhere my love – Lara’s Theme (Doctor Zhivago)

Somewhere, my love there will be songs to sing

Although the snow covers the hope of spring

Somewhere a hill blossoms in green and gold

And there are dreams all that your heart can hold

Someday we'll meet again my love

Someday whenever the spring breaks through

You'll come to me out of the long ago

Warm as the wind, soft as the kiss of snow

Lara my own, think of me now and then

God speed my love till you are mine again

You'll come to me out of the long ago

Warm as the wind soft as the kiss of snow

Till then my sweet think of me now and then

God speed my love 'til you are mine again

Related photos:

1. Ciping Huang in Nuremberg, Germany:

http://www.weijingsheng.org/pic/newsletters/newsletters2017/newsletters2017-4/HuangCP1710inNuremberg-c-5.jpg

2. Unique vertical candle table in a Nuremberg church:

http://www.weijingsheng.org/pic/newsletters/newsletters2017/newsletters2017-4/candles1710inNurembergChurch-c-5.jpg

3. Marc Chagall designed stained glass windows in Pfarrkirche Sankt Stephan, Mainz:

http://www.weijingsheng.org/pic/newsletters/newsletters2017/newsletters2017-4/Mainz1707stainedglass-c-5.jpg

4. A new style window in Limburg an der Lahn, Germany:

http://www.weijingsheng.org/pic/newsletters/newsletters2017/newsletters2017-4/Limburg1707stainedwindows-c-5.jpg

5. The cathedral and its square in Wetzlar:

http://www.weijingsheng.org/pic/newsletters/newsletters2017/newsletters2017-4/Wetzlar1707church-c-5.jpg

6. The Imperial Supreme Court where the young Goethe was a trainee:

http://www.weijingsheng.org/pic/newsletters/newsletters2017/newsletters2017-4/Wetzlar1707courthouse-c-5.jpg

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中文版

Wei Jingsheng Foundation News and Article Release Issue: A1073-W710

魏京生基金会新闻与文章发布号：A1073-W710

Release Date: December 24, 2017

发布日：2017年12月24日

标题：情系欧洲，情系莱茵 -- 路德新教运动500周年兼苏联十月革命100周年时的随想 -- 黄慈萍 (欧华导报2017年12月版原创首发)

Original Language Version: Chinese (Chinese version at the end)

此号以中文为准（英文在前，中文在后）

如有中文乱码问题，请与我们联系或访问:

http://www.weijingsheng.org/report/report2017/report2017-12/HuangCPonRhine171224CEPpublishedA1073-W710.htm

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（本文原创首发于《欧华导报》2017年12月。 http://www.chinesen.de/）

情系欧洲，情系莱茵 -- 路德新教运动500周年兼苏联十月革命100周年时的随想

-- 黄慈萍

命运，犹如一只风筝，被那难以看到的命运之线牵动着，在空中飘扬。偶尔微风吹起，它就高高飘起，甚至自己也不知会飞向何处，落在何方。人人都有意志，都有想法，都有追求爱与美的愿望，然而命运与现实却不一定是大多数人所能左右的。所有的人都得面对自己的命运与现实，来决定，来选择，包括选择随波逐流，以求到达幸福的彼岸。

在我动荡不易的日子里，有时我会选择逃避，逃避现实和我必须面对的人与事，或者仅仅是逃避我的责任，逃避我需要做的事。我的避风港就是欧洲，在这里我举目无亲，我可以在我喜爱的大街小巷里游荡，与我素不相识的人攀谈，没有人认识我，没有人问我为何流泪悲伤。欧洲，这个充满文化和历史的地方，以它的文明尤其是艺术冲击着我，帮我回避艰难人生造成的困扰，或者说变相和被动地面对人生难题。欧洲的大街小巷里予人以美感以及浪漫的情调。那处处可逢，赏心悦目的绘画和音乐吸引了我，帮我解脱。我在欧洲时最喜欢听的两支曲之一便是舒伯特的小夜曲。这柔情的曲子为我排忧解愁，让人回想到曾经的幸福与浪漫的时光。

尽管我对欧洲的情感基本上是个人层面的，但对过去的回顾并不限于此。这次到捷克与波兰，就不由地让我联想到我过去两次来到这两个国家，都完全是因为公务，完成后就离开了，并不曾好好地游览和了解一下当地的风俗人情。2000年6月底，和老魏等一起参加在波兰举办的世界民主体（Community of Democracy）的首次活动，光是在会场见人说话了，不曾出外看过什幺。

记忆清晰的是2002年的早春专程到捷克会见时任总统的哈维尔先生，更是来去匆匆，总共不到两日。当时捷克尚未正式加入申根区，入境非常不易。尽管我和老魏有总统府的特别指令放行，但过关时还是花了两个多小时，真正得以领教社会主义国家的效率。而这一次，本想在从捷克回德国的海关大楼前照张相的，不想太急于赶路，正在寻思那个KFC炸鸡店是不是过去的海关大楼时，就发现已经错过出口，没有机会逗留了。

那年到捷克的唯一目的是与时任总统的哈维尔见面，推动人权工作，虽然在布拉格的街上走了走，但第二天便匆匆赶回日内瓦，对这美丽的城市并没有留下太多的印象。记得当时我是开车直接到总统府停在那，好象路上也没见多少游人。而这次来布拉格，不仅亲眼看到了布拉格城堡的辉煌，也看到了数目众多的游人，真是难想象当时自己是如何躲开这些拥挤的游人，长驱直入开车进了总统府，又匆匆离开的了。唯一留下印象的便是那石块砌成的路，虽然美丽古朴，但坐在我租的廉价小车里，实在还是觉得颠得很。

自我1991年春首次到欧洲以来，二十多年来我到欧洲大概有三十多次了。1991年，可以算是我人生的最低谷时期，有过一段失望之极乃至绝望的日子。彷徨无解又痛苦的我跟公司请了3周的假，花了约五百美元买了张欧洲铁路一等舱通票游遍了西欧各国。那时候我会在白天游玩各个地方，晚上坐火车去最远的城市—这样我可以在火车里过夜以省下旅馆钱。然而，我当时计划到欧洲的3周却因为TWA航空公司弄丢了我的回美证件而不得不再拖延了一个月。当时也没有取款机可用，欧洲又比我想象的要贵，没有通用的欧元，我带的现金很快用完，连面包都买不起。而且周日商店不开门，害的我好几个周日饥肠响如鼓，只能向上帝祷告周一的尽快到来。幸好，每个周一都在周日之后准时到来，所以我没有在欧洲饿死。

好在不久我公司的两个美国同事出差到欧洲，解决了我的金融危机。但他们却解决不了我的签证危机。当时还没有申根签证，我在美国时花了好几个月才得到西欧几个国家的签证。但他们的有效时间都很短，眼睁睁地看着一个又一个地过期了，我可以活动的范围也越来越小。最可悲又可气的是，我和我的同事一起穿越国界，他们的美国护照晃一下就过了，而我的中国护照和其上的签证却被看了又看。从此我更决心为了旅游方便我也要尽早加入美国籍。然而，二十多年过去了，我至今却都没有申请美国籍，这确是我始料未及的。

我迷恋欧洲，不仅仅是因为它美丽的风景与城郊建筑，更因为它的人文历史。随着年龄的增长，来欧洲次数的增多，这种情绪变得越来越重。对于少女时代饱受苦难又毫无希望可言的我，欧洲是象征着神话和仙女的美好仙境。而对于成年后的我，欧洲依然是困扰和忧愁中可以躲避和逃离我不愿面对的选择与现实的地方。即使在我没有困扰和忧愁之时，欧洲依然是我的梦游之地，许多场景和人文历史，都让我身心愉快，一种可以自由翱翔的感觉。每次到欧洲，不管有多少不易和艰难，依然予我以欢乐和期盼。即使是公务在身，我也喜欢一个人溜出去，结交陌生人，谈论当地的文化和历史，甚至仅仅是买杯咖啡坐在路边观看行人，或者是躺在树下的草坪上晒着太阳，闭目养神。

如果有一天我不能再这样到欧洲了，那就太可怕了！

以前我到欧洲，逗留得最多的是法国、意大利、和瑞士。相比较，虽然我路过德国多次，却甚少停留，更不要说旅游了。部分原因是因为我1991年在德语区被人拿走回美证的可怕经历让我一直绕着德语区走，另一部分原因则是因为我最欣赏、必定要参观且留恋不已的是保留完整的法国及意大利的希腊、罗马至文艺复兴时期的古老教堂以及文化艺术。而相比较之下，饱受第二次世界大战摧残的德国在文物与教堂方面就显得残缺不全了。

只是到了最近这几次欧洲之行，我的观念才开始改变。本来可以说是爱屋及乌，尤其是因为受德国的浪漫主义文化的感染和最近的莱茵河之行而对其氛围的人与物变得更有感情，更有兴趣了。但也正是越深入的了解，也就越情系于此。我为浪漫主义文化所感染，尤其是为莱茵河流域及其人与物所感动。今年，我连续三次专程到德国，既是因为活动与联络的需要，也是为了圆我自己的梦，顺便还参观了一些景点尤其是我喜欢的欧洲教堂及市中心广场。

拿我最喜欢访问的欧洲教堂为例。我最喜欢的就是那些大教堂的花窗玻璃及其绘画，雕塑，包括整个建筑，以及其中的圣经故事及文化内容，这些都足以让我流连忘返。遗憾的是，那些精细美丽又脆弱的花窗玻璃也最容易成为战争与动乱的牺牲品。我曾去过多次巴黎外80公里的沙特尔圣母主教座堂（法语：Cathédrale Notre-Dame de Chartres）。那儿的介绍自豪地告知游人二战期间，当地百姓如何经过种种努力保护了这些有八百年历史的美丽又珍贵的神圣文物。他们在战争期间花大力气卸下了又转移，战后再重新装上，等等的故事。而为了这些珍贵的历史文物，一位名叫格里菲斯的美国上校不惜违背上司的指令，经过细致调查后拒绝了对该教堂的轰炸。二战中，沙特尔镇被破坏贻尽，但这座美丽而庄严的教堂却依然屹立，向人们招手致意。格里菲斯上校于1944年在离沙特尔不远处战死，未能见到他抗命保护的教堂的完全恢复。但他的灵魂若有知，想必也会含笑黄泉的。

今年4月，在法国鲁瓦河边的布卢瓦（Blois），二战抵抗运动纪念馆边的罗曼式与哥特式相结合的圣尼各老堂（église Saint-Nicolas-Saint-Laumer）里，我注意到这座传统的教堂里那些古典的花窗玻璃已不复存在，取而代之的是线条明快，色彩鲜艳的现代抽象艺术的花窗玻璃。在夕阳降落前光线的照耀下，那些色彩浓厚的花窗玻璃在教堂的墙上投影出彩花朵朵，随着时间的推移慢慢地旋转变幻，形成一个四维的活生生的艺术。我当时看到这一情景时所受的冲击与震惊之情是难以描述的。在回巴黎的路上，我感慨不已，思绪万千。我突然意识到，如同人生，即便遇到遗憾与悲剧，不同的应对和正确的激励有时会带来意想不到的效果与层次。纵然面对困境比逃避要难，但也能有美丽，哪怕是凄惨之美。就如秋季的树林，当多数树叶飘落后，它所展示的不仅仅是不同的色彩，也包括更多的光线渗透树林后才有的灿烂与层次。

此后，我对我过去不屑一顾的德国教堂变得有兴趣起来。在受到战争摧残的德国，这样的教堂可以说是比比皆是。今年夏季，我花了相当一部分的时间周游德国南部的教堂，从美茵茨市的教堂我沿风景如画的莱茵河域向西向北而去，包括韦茨拉尔（德语：Wetzlar）市及兰河畔林堡（德语：Limburg an der Lahn），又沿美茵河东去，到维尔茨堡（德语：Würzburg），班伯格（德语：Bamberg），及纽伦堡（德语：Nürnberg），等地。除了班伯格，如我过去就观察到的，其它德国城市的大教堂的过去的古典式花窗玻璃基本上都荡然无存，甚至部分乃至整个教堂都在战争中被损害或夷为平地了。但勤劳智能的德国人民还是将这些教堂重建了，并予以新的生命和别出心裁的新型艺术，给了这些古老的教堂以新的色彩与活力。

今年是路德新教运动500周年。徘徊在德国的大街小巷，同时欣赏着新旧德国的艺术与建筑，思索着种种推动社会变革和进步的人物与历史，感触良多，且颇受启发。也使得我对浪漫主义及其文化有了更进一步的了解和欣赏。在韦茨拉尔，我看到了当年神圣罗马帝国（德语：Heiliges Römisches Reich）的最高法庭。年轻的歌德曾在那里任实习生，并在那里写出了不朽的“少年维特的烦恼”。而这个小镇使我更为感叹的是那座从罗曼式变化到哥特式，至今也没有能完全完工的大教堂，是由天主教徒与新教徒共享的。人们的宗教可以不同，肤色可以不同，国籍可以不同，但人们对自然的爱，对亲友的爱，以及对生命的爱，对自由的爱，都是共同的，也是相通的。

新教改革，不仅仅将欧洲人民带出了黑暗的中世纪，不仅仅使一般的信徒能直接学习圣经，也帮助现代的人们获得基本的权利，以欧美为榜样，普世价值观得以传播到全世界。在纽伦堡，我注意到国际人权电影节正在进行之中，我也知道那里有条人权街。在法兰克福的老城，我惊讶地发现并参观了圣保罗教堂（Paulskirche），原来那是1848-1849 年用作法兰克福国民议会的所在地。当然历史也有曲折之时，在纽伦堡，我参观了纳粹的全国党代会集会场。

在这特别有纪念意义的500周年之际，当人们缅怀路德，赞美路德之时，我常常想到的却是众多为这场宗教改革而遭难，乃至被牺牲的先烈们。这其中我最敬仰的是这场运动的第一先驱和烈士：扬·胡斯（捷克语：Jan Hus）以及出生贵族的伯尔金声（法语：Louis de Berquin），及法国的第一位宗教改革殉道者包文（Pauvanne）和许许多多欧洲其它地域的烈士。明知中世纪的黑暗和违反教廷会带来的杀身之祸，他们依然顶风表达了他们的观点并付之于行动。他们承受酷刑并以生命来捍卫他们的信仰。这种牺牲精神是何其地令人感动！虽然这些先驱的肉体早已消亡，甚至大多数世人都不晓得他们的名字，以及他们的业绩与贡献，但他们遗留下来的不屈精神以及因此给社会带来的新面貌，却被我们后人不知不觉地享用着。想要开创一个崭新的世界，推动历史的进步，想要人民幸福，社会繁荣，我们需要许许多多的胡斯，我们必须学习和拥有胡斯的勇气与牺牲精神。

如今，在自由和公平社会里生活的人们甚至不晓得也许不在乎这些先烈们牺牲的重大意义。但人们能享受到这些自由和公平，不正是这些先烈们所想看到的么。欧洲的宗教改革给世界的政治和社会带来的轰轰烈烈的变迁，正是许许多多的勇士们共同奉献与牺牲的结果。因此联想到我们自己，不也正是需要这样的勇气和牺牲精神，不为名利地为大众地贡献，才能推动社会的前进，才能促进公正平等，哪怕面对他人的不解乃至嘲笑，哪怕因此而遭遇危险乃至失去生命！

的确，想促成一个新生事物和推动一场运动，天时、地利、人和是不可缺少的几个因素。但必须清楚认识到的是，任何社会的进步都必须有人民的推动与参与。尽管500年前的新教运动的开端，是1517年10月31日，马丁·路德写信给美茵茨大主教，陈述95条理由反对赎罪券。但新教运动并不是在这一天华丽转身就成功了的。从1524到1648，它造成两次德国战争和多次的欧洲战争，历时一百多年，死伤无数。新教运动中最重要，最积极的德国付出的代价也是最大的。它不仅仅牺牲了无数德国人的生命，而且因此这使得德国的统一变得遥遥无期，直到19世纪德国浪漫主义文化的兴起。即便如此坎坷不易，最终，欧洲还是走出了中世纪的黑暗。

而作为一个科学研究和工程设计人员，我对当时社会已经进步，尤其是排字印刷技术的出现对宗教改革所起的正面作用颇感鼓舞。印刷术将推广圣经的新教运动变为可能，而不至于使圣经成为个别皇亲贵族、宗教独裁者谋私利的工具，或被只懂拉丁文的人所垄断。从这点看，宗教改革有其历史的必然性。

今年还是苏联的十月革命100周年。每次来到东欧，见证东欧在苏联崩溃后的快速转变，尤其是与文明世界的接轨速度，就不免会联想到我自己灾难深重的祖国。毕竟，俄国已经在意识形态上谴责并抛弃了100年来杀害了上亿民众的共产主义。而这些年来与当年东欧和苏联的异议人士及反对派的接触，更使我坚信自己的选择与主张，也学习和思考了他们所经历的挫折和依然面临的问题。这对将来中国的民主转型都是有教育与借鉴作用的。

当然，我对中国的情况也不是那么乐观。多年的奴化与洗脑，已经将许多人变成既不知东方文化为何物，也根本不懂西方文明的“与时俱进”“向钱看”的行尸走肉了。当我们将中共与当年的纳粹比，我们看到“没有敌人”的刘晓波至死也得不到自由，而希特勒最起码还会对诺贝尔和平奖的得主做些表面文章。当我们看到纳粹驱赶犹太人的图片时，我们看到在中国发生着的却是现实：寒冬腊月之际，中共当局将“低端人口”的中国人从自己的家园赶出北京城，广州市，等等。而当我们将中共与东欧比，我们知道现任德国总理默克尔虽然生在西德的汉堡，但她的父母却被教会派到东德。这在每个教会必须有共产党的党支部的三自教会的中国是不可能的。人们常常提到当年的教皇保罗二世对波兰等国民主化的贡献。但这和当年东欧及苏联共产党下相对中国要宽松的氛围也是有关的。这些社会和生活方面上的宽松在当年苏联拍摄的影片“乡村女教师”及西方拍摄的苏联作家鲍里斯·帕斯捷尔纳克的“《日瓦戈医生》（英语：Doctor Zhivago）”等都有显露。

在欧洲，常常在我耳边回响的另一个曲子是“日瓦戈医生”的“拉娜曲”。那优美而柔情的曲调，与血腥和残酷的现实形成强烈的对比，让人感触，催人泪下。最让我感动的是即使在高压和扭曲的社会里，在复杂而无奈的人生中，也还有着真情实意与对生活和生命之爱。其中让我最为之感动的部分是有关日瓦戈医生的情人拉娜的写照：虽生不逢时，生活坎坷，依然美丽多情，乃至不能自拔。我为他俩之间的爱情而叹息，而落泪。他们的不幸不过是共产专政下的一个缩影而已。尽管聚少离多，多才多艺的日瓦戈医生对拉娜的感情是真诚的；尽管在这不如意的人间社会里，如意的结局也实在是难得不可能。我感叹，现实中的人生包括爱情，永远不可能尽善尽美，但就是在乌云压顶和狂风大作之时，也永远是美的，哪怕是凄惨之美。

我的欧洲之旅解决不了我自己必须面对和解决的问题，但仍然是有益之旅，是众多可能中的最佳选择。我眼里的欧洲，永远是带着玫瑰花的香味与色彩，被朦朦胧胧的晨雾所缭绕的柔情仙境。虽说在现实中，王子与仙女的圆满故事可以说并不存在，最起码也不会那么完美，但人们依然会带着殷切的期望来憧憬美妙的爱情，完美的生活。我又何尝不是如此？我心中的莱茵河流域，依然是有着许多闻名古迹，让我终生难忘的浪漫文化之起源。即使在备受感情折磨的痛楚现实中，眼里含着泪，心头忍着痛，我依然会坐在莱茵河畔，梦想着河畔出现的王子，回顾他曾赋予我的美好记忆；我会看着河上的轮船，听着河中的涛声，向他歌唱，为他祝福。

__ __ __

附：望眼欲穿（日瓦戈医生的主题曲）

-- 黄慈萍译

亲爱的，

虽然冰雪覆盖着春的希望

有一处还有歌曲可以吟唱

山坡的草地上金花开放

美梦也装满在你的心上

亲爱的，

有一天我们会再相见

正是春季爆发的那天

久违的你会回到我身边

春风般温暖，雪样软绵

我的拉娜，时时记住我

上帝保佑送你回我身边

久违的你会回到我身边

春风般温暖，雪样软绵

在那以前，时时记住我

上帝保佑送你回我身边

英文歌原文：

Somewhere my love – Lara’s Theme (Doctor Zhivago)

Somewhere, my love there will be songs to sing

Although the snow covers the hope of spring

Somewhere a hill blossoms in green and gold

And there are dreams all that your heart can hold

Someday we'll meet again my love

Someday whenever the spring breaks through

You'll come to me out of the long ago

Warm as the wind, soft as the kiss of snow

Lara my own, think of me now and then

God speed my love till you are mine again

You'll come to me out of the long ago

Warm as the wind soft as the kiss of snow

Till then my sweet think of me now and then

God speed my love 'til you are mine again